Mr. Adventure Says...

Welcome to part two in my Mr. Adventure series: where I chronicle the absurd and outrageous things my dear, wonderful sweet husband says :P

does anyone else's husband try to maim themselves on a regular basis by
competing with nature, or is it just mine? 

While laying in bed, studying the husband 
Me: You have really long eyelashes dear! I love them.
B: Yeah, I keep them around just in case I ever want to be a girl
Me: o_o

Explaining to Mr. Adventure why I have been slightly off lately
Me: I'm going to start my period this week.
B: Menopause time?
Me: No, I'm having PMS. Menopause is when you are older--like 50--you don't have a period and you stop making girly hormones.
B: Oh, I thought that was when you pause and don't like men anymore?
Me: *facepalm*

Laying in bed and trying to sleep
Me: Stop petting me.
B: But I've always wanted my very own wife I could pet!
Me: -_-

Husband: wheee! Me: O_O

Yesterday, in the kitchen 
Me: what are you doing?
B: *jumps*
Me: O_O
B: defensively I'm hungry!
Me: You have your fingers in the Nutella jar!!
B: pouting Uh, is that bad?
Me: Have you ever done this before?
B: Uh, um, er...no.
Me: *glares* Use a spoon!

While having a minor argument 
B: *rolls eyes at me*
Me: Did you just roll your eyes at me?
B: Um, no I was exercising my eyeballs.

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Well, ladies, what has your significant other been saying lately? Tell me all the juicy details!