10 Things You Should Know About Marriage
- There will be a point in time when you will look at your spouse and realize you have to take care of them for the rest of your life. You will wake up next to this person (usually) every day, and go to bed with them every night. Suddenly, you must be responsible and remember to feed them, so they don't eat an entire bag of chips for dinner while you are busy writing a novel. You have to pick up their dirty socks. You have to clean their toilet. Sometimes this revelation might cause you to panic. Don't worry! This is a normal occurrence. You picked this person to spend the rest of your life with, remember? Dwell on God's wonderful blessings, instead of on the toilet paper they forgot to refill yesterday. Spend time recalling the days when you would have given anything to be with them, to pass an evening in their presence. They are still that same person. Just now they suddenly think its okay to pass gas right next to you.
- You will run out of furniture to have sex on.
- Marriage is like going on a diet. No, really. When you first go on a diet, you think: oh, soon I'll "arrive" to "thin". But then you realize that no, diet and exercise is a lifestyle. You don't ever truly arrive--and just like you have to plan your meals or schedule in a hour for yoga, you have to daily make time for intimacy and companionship with your spouse. Get-thin-quick scams are just like Disney Princess movies--there is no one-time deal to happily ever after. So drop the diet pills along with your surface-level attention and dig deep. Know that marriage is work--not necessarily hard work, but the kind that requires a lot of determination and focus.
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- It is never to late to live your teenage dreams! Go lay outside on a blanket and watch the stars. Sit on the ground and watch a movie with dinner. Pick up cheap takeout and eat it at the park. Go "window shopping." Make out at a drive-in theater. Just drive and listen to music! The world is still yours for the taking.
- One day your spouse will say in public something you told him privately. Sometimes this will be hilarious but most often it will be embarrassing. And awkward. Especially if he says something about one friend to another friend, thinking it public knowledge.
- Your spouse is not your child. As much as you may think that he may be better off not drinking that coke, or eating three brownies for desert, he is his own person. Respect that.
- Remember love is a choice.
- Don't wait for your spouse to do something special for you. Do something special for him! Give him a card. A back rub. Spend time with him. Kiss him. Tell him he is handsome. Make a candlelit dinner. Pay a bill you don't normally pay. Buy him new underwear if his are falling apart. Pray for him. Affirm him.
- Some stereotypes are true. He will never own enough power tools. You will never own enough dresses.
- Lastly: you will have so many inside jokes. Did you leave your fish running?
