Everyone seems to know what they are doing except me.
Did I miss a memo? An E-mail? A large florescent sign with an arrow?
Okay, okay, I'm sure there are others who are lost. No one has it all together all the time.
But I feel so strange. I wonder a lot if my life would look any different if I were more sold out to Christ. I wonder if I'm playing to much in the world or if I'm doing His will. I wonder why I have such drives and dreams and excitement over...knitting hats. How can I use knitting to show how much I love God? Does God care that a ball of rainbow colored yarn makes me swoon?
I don't know. But I still dream.
I mean, I know there is nothing new under the sun. But I make commitments. I live to please. I Get It Done. I plan the next thing. My calender is full and then I forget to meditate on Him.
But He is all there is. He is all there should be on my horizon. There is nothing more important than giving my life to Him every day without fail.
I don't think I'll ever have all the answers but I know who I want to be my compass. And my boat. And the oarsman. And the sun, sea and sky.
Dear Lord, I really pray You will make me more like Yourself. I want to know You. I just lack motivation sometimes. And I am learning that I'm not that good at compartmentalizing my time.
*This post was brought to you by I Might Be Doing To Much and has been extensively edited by Mr. Anxiety. If you need me I'll be trying to get all my ducks in a row while probably writing really weird stream of consciousness blog posts. Bye!