I will be honest: besides Michelle's post, all the women I've heard talk about pregnancy gave glowing reviews to the process. I mean, some talked about a little morning sickness, but from the way they went on it never sounded that bad. I guess it does not help to point out I've been looking forward to having babies ever since my mom told me about it. It sounded both wonderful and amazing and most of all fun. I never really thought it could be any different.
Not at all like what I am experiencing. Around the clock nausea. The inability to do, well, anything. I have not been able to knit or crochet. Last week I realized it had been an entire 6 days since I last showered. My armpit hair was out of control. I've been eating take out my husband has picked up because I can't cook.
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| This was taken yesterday. That is my little bean! |
And yes, before you go "but you've been trying for two years" I'll let you know that I am grateful. I do want to have children. I am excited. I just had no idea it was this hard. I mean, I try to think "well I still have legs and I'm alive, so buck up". But then I heat myself a bowl of mac and cheese because I realize I should be hungry but of course with all this nausea I can never tell when I'm hungry or not and when it's done the smell of it makes me even more nauseous and I cry because I don't want to eat it but I know I should because I'm sure I need food.
They say this only lasts 12 weeks. I'm at week 8.5 according to my doctor. Maybe it will be better soon. Maybe it won't. But that's okay. It is worth it, and I can't wait to meet my little boy or girl in July (she said my due date is the 16th). But I just wish it was easier and that I didn't feel so weird and spacy and sick and tired and upset all the time. I wouldn't change it for the world, through. I pray every day for my baby and safety.
3 comments:
Girl, you KNOW I understand! I had the same experience....I knew morning sickness existed, but everyone I knew loved being pregnant so much that I was never that worried about it. No one prepared me for how it literally knocks you off your feet and makes you feel like you're dying. I felt awful complaining about it, too. I was so thrilled to have this baby but so miserable, and that kind of overshadowed my gratitude for a few months. And that's ok. It gets better, I promise! My doctor said the worst of it is between 8-11 weeks, and then it will start to improve. Hang in there. It gets better, I promise! And if I'm saying it, the girl who threw up for 5 months, you know it's true :)
My Mom was just talking about this on Monday, she said, "I keep hearing really strange ideas lately from young wives and moms about having high expectations and goals for pregnancy, and I have no idea where they are getting these ideas, it's like they totally forgot about the curse on Eve from the beginning of history! If both you and the baby are alive by the end of it, that's what matters." The results must be awesome because Mom had morning sickness the entire time of all of her pregnancies and there's 7 of us. :) I hope that I don't have to have a job anymore when we're going to have a baby, because that would definitely make things harder. I love my job but so many things are stinky at school that I have come close to throwing up at work several times and that's just normal me, haha!
Just let me cheer for you "You can do it! You can do it!!" :)
I think it's normal to want to be pregnant AND not enjoy pregnancy at the same time. I mean, it's exciting to grow something in your uterus, but your body is obviously doing all these weird pregnancy things to make that happen. I am now praying specifically that you get through the nausea and feel a bit more like your normal self soon!
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