Boy Obsessed

There are things you need for babies. Like diapers, clothes, blankets, a warm place to sleep...and then there are things you don't need for babies, but want.

Since I'm having a baby in four months, I have not been able to stop looking at cute little adorable baby items. It's a new interest for me. Trust me: my mom used to try and drag me to second hand baby stores to shop for my sister's two children and after five minutes I would start complaining of boredom.

wall print // fox shoes // leggings

But now I just can't wait to dress/feed/swathe/entertain my baby with a cute assortment of age-appropriate items. Even through my husband and I have not yet bought a single thing, my amazon wish list and etsy favorites are overflowing with potential buys.

wrap // whale print // fox blanket

I seem to have an obsession with whales and foxes and hedgehogs. Also, thanks to all the shops that gave me permission to post pictures of their items here! The items are also linked below each picture.

I wonder what stuff I will eventually buy? A lot of what I need, of course, and I'm sure a few pleasure items as well.

Thing Holder

I finally took my sewing machines to the sewing repair man in my neighborhood and got both my vintage machines looked at. And you know what, apparently it was me messing with them that caused all the problems I was having in the first place. Cue facepalm. And $18 + gas.

But my sewing machines work now! So, I made this bag yesterday. I loved Sew Technicolor's bag and she linked to the tutorial so I wanted to make one too! Only it's been a year (a YEAR) since I've touched a sewing machine. And the directions looked very confusing.

But I made a bag, and the zipper works. The hardest part was the corners (folding to make the bottom flat) and sewing up the inside, as you leave a bit open to pull the bag right-side-out. I'd love any tips, Kristin--if you have any! I couldn't get the sewing-the-inside part closed at all. What I mean by that is my inside you can tell I sewed part of it! It makes the lining not look flush, as the stitches are very apparent. (you can't see it in the picture because you can't see the whole bottom. I decided not to let the whole world know of my utter failure in picture form) Anyway, how did you get yours to look so flawless?

I am going to make a few more bags like this. I think if I keep making them I'll get better.

It's nice to have a working sewing machine again. And I do think the bag is at least showing I've grown, because the zipper works and it functions as a bag. Usually I just fail.

Speaking of utter failures, today I tried to make myself a maternity skirt. After 3 hours and two attempts, I had nothing. Oh, and I cried. I forgot how hard sewing is. It's confusing, and unforgiving and it doesn't love me! And I have a soul that wants to be a knitting and sewing goddess.

I might be a knitting goddess (can I brag?) but sewing, we just don't speak the same language yet.

Blogger Laws

Recently I noticed that there is a huge lack of knowledge about legal rules of blogging. I myself am at fault for a lot of these without even noticing--something I remedied asap when I found out about the regulations.

I started to be aware of these things by reading Belle Brita. She mentioned that you can't use follow links in one of her blog posts because it is against Google policy. I was like, what is a follow link?

This prompted heavy researching into internet laws. And what I found and learned was both eye opening and also annoying.

First off, I live in the United States, and I use Blogger (the Google service) to run my site. If you do not live in the USA, and you don't use blogger, some of these may not apply. Each "website service" like Squarespace, Blogger or WordPress has their own set of rules--on top of any laws your country or state has!

Now, I'm sure everyone knows that you can't steal someone's unique photos or words. I mean, even I know that I can't just Google something and copy and paste it on my own site. But beyond this universal copyright law (that a lot of people break anyway...) there are a bunch of other rules that are binding for blogs.

Specific Blogger rules: (policy can be seen here)

• Adult content must be clearly marked as such, and adult content can not be illegal in nature (think underage) and also can not be used to make any kind of money.
• All blogs with any sort of adult content (even if it is just one post) requires the entire blog to be behind a 18-or-over warning page. 
• It is against blogger policy to make a blog pretending to be another person. (satire is allowed)
• Did you know that blogger does not allow anyone to post a comment on another person's blog or site with the sole purpose of the comment being to promote your own site? This is part of their spam policy. 
• You cannot use follow links for paid ads. 

USA rules: (via the FTC)

• Your blog must have a disclosure. (if you are selling something, receiving something for free, talking about a product....you must have a disclosure) 
• If someone guest posts on your blog, you must have written permission from them stating that you can put their words and pictures on your site. If not, it is a copyright violation. Also, if a guest post uses a picture he/she does not own, you could be held liable!  (this is why I don't do guest posts)
• There are SO MANY laws about giveaways and sweepstakes and lotteries. This is why I no longer do giveaways. I'll let you research this on your own.
• If you have a mailing list, it is required by law to have a unsubscribe link in each e-mail.
• I don't quite understand fair use, so I only use my own pictures!
• You do have the right (by law) to blog anonymously. However, this does not protect you from being subpoenaed.
• You have a right to delete comments on your own blog. This does not violate anyone elses first amendment rights.
• It's good to know about the Section 230 ruling. 
• If someone comments on your blog: you need to have a comment policy that states creative commons under your comments. If not that person owns their words--making screen-shooting and re-posting their comment on your blog (I've seen people do this and "respond" to comments) potentially illegal!
• There are different rules for posting e-mails and personal letters from companies, individuals and corporations on your blog. I don't know the rules, so I would shy away from this. In my state is is illegal to film someone or tape them without their consent--but some states are different. Know what you are doing!

Anyway, there are probably a ton more rules, but this is as far as I've researched these past few weeks. If you know of any other links or laws please comment down below. I really want to learn and be informed.

Yesterday.

Ugh, it's morning. Oh, I'm still pregnant. I need to get up and pee. And drink a river. But it's so warm here. Maybe if I stare at my husband he will get me a drink of water. No, he thinks I want to snuggle...abort, abort!

the view from my bed

Have sad thoughts about lack of snuggling and lack of my body's ability to handle physical touch from another person at 7am in the morning. It's hard enough to move at 7am in the morning: all my effort goes towards singing some sort of motivational internal rant to my sore, bloated pregnant body in an attempt to beef myself up emotionally for that thing called "removing myself from the bed".

I used to be a morning person. I clearly remember a time when it wasn't like this. Will that time ever be here again? Briefly fantasize about springing unencumbered out of bed with the energy of a morning lark.

Get out of breath in my attempt to roll over. Hmm, this is new. Usually it's just annoying and worm-like when I try to host my enlarged torso into a west-facing position. Now I apparently can't breathe when it it happens. Gee, this is fun.

Great. Now my husband is in the shower and I'm finally in a mood for some snuggling. Guess I'll get a drink of water and empty my bladder instead of a warm hug.

My husband wakes me up (again) to kiss me goodbye. I suppose I fell back asleep. Swat at cute, professionally dressed husband and mumble something about how I hope he has a good day. Get kissed again, patted on the head, and mutely register the door closing and the car exiting from the driveway.

Pee again.

Stare at my iPhone. At least something loves me. 

Realize it is almost 8:30. Get thyself to the gym!

Usually walking at the YMCA helps me convince my body that it still knows how to function as a individual even if it is currently multiplying itself. Sometimes it just convinces me that I clearly have been blessed with too many muscles and joints. And they all hurt at once.

Return home. Eat all the things, because I'm so hungry I must be growing twins, or a third arm or... wait, I'm just growing boobs. This realization is reinforced by the fact that my bra is currently cutting off my circulation. Glad I don't need to go anywhere today.

Shower. Warm water. Feels so good. On my back.

Find clothes that fit.

Do whatever I have to do for the rest of the day while a baby kicks my spleen and who knows what else down there.

Realize I forgot to lather coconut oil on my growing parts. Oil self, and then attempt to pick up my computer. Drop my computer. @#%^. Note: do not apply lotion around electronics when afflicted with pregnancy brain. I mean impatience. But I'll blame my condition. 

My husband arrives home. Is it six o'clock already? I haven't even brushed my teeth yet...He says hi, and then proceeds to talk to my belly. Try not to feel weird and concerned for my husband's sanity. Have brief daydream where my uterus grows a mouth and actually talks back.

Can't explain to husband why I am laughing so hard.

Feel excited about meeting my baby...in four months. Four more months.

I'm not going to get any bigger, am I?

Repeat tomorrow. Except with more food, please.

Just Having Fun

Sometimes a pregnant lady just wants to have some fun. And I don't mean the kind of fun that browsing the baby section of target brings on--I mean some pre-pregnancy wig and coffee fun to remind myself that I am still my own person. No matter what is crawling around inside of me right now--it's nice to feel like my old self for a day or two!

This morning, for the first time baby was kicking (and punching) both sides of my uterus. Very odd. Like he was doing stretches. Woke me up and made my husband grin! He is 24 weeks old today.

Wearing

It was almost 70 degrees out toady and since I went to visit a friend I decided to dress up. I loved this sweater I found at target when I was searching for maternity clothes. It's not maternity--but I couldn't turn down the lace and the pink. Two of my favorite things, and I felt cute and girly. If I had any fashion rules for myself, it would be that I love looking very feminine! I certainly felt adorable, which is better then feeling like a whale! Today was a wonderful day filled with exercising, tea with a friend, and learning about diapers and adorable boy babies. I feel a lot less claustrophobic about the whole birthing-a-baby thing now!

Over halfway

I feel so lucky that I haven't really had any problems sleeping in this pregnancy. Maybe that is because I am only 22 weeks (or 21? I can't remember) but I've been sleeping like a big baby. I am finally using that pregnancy pillow I bought at the beginning of my second trimester--and it's so useful now that I have a bit of a bump!

I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I am going to have a baby before the end of the year. It's amazing, scary, and quite intimidating. One moment I'm excited, the next I'm checking my pulse to make sure I'm awake and by the end of the day I'm making lists of what needs to be done before little man arrives. Clean out spare room...find a doctor (for baby after birth)...make two weeks of freezer meals...bug husband into moving his stuff out of my office...Oh, and buy everything. One of my good friends who encourages me so much has offered to help me throw a baby shower! Actually, she offered to throw it for me, but she has two kids and right now I have gallons of free time so I'm going to help! I am really excited, I want to bake all sorts of yummy gluten and dairy free food for the event. I've never had a baby shower before. It feels very special.

I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety during the past few weeks. I took a breather last week and went out and got a manicure and pedicure and just relaxed. I was supposed to go with a friend originally, but sadly it dumped snow on us that day and the roads were scary so I changed the appointment to next week and she had a intensive and wasn't able to come. Even alone my time out was super helpful, and when I got home I was even more floored to find my husband had cleaned the living room and washed all the dishes. I was positively spoiled that day! I mean, my husband is amazing but sometimes he just goes above and beyond. He then took me out to eat at Olive Garden. Talk about a perfect day. I'm still living on the wisps of those memories every time I look at my fun mint colored fingers and toenails. I don't know if a self-care day can help everyone's anxiety, but it sure helped mine. Also, the weather getting warm and melting all the snow helped too. Anyone else have cold-weather related blues?

Anyway, no one has touched me yet without asking first. Maybe my bump isn't big enough. But this is the main complaint I've heard from other expecting moms so...who knows? I keep preparing myself to be righteously outraged but it hasn't happened yet.

That's really all that is going on in my life lately, except for some family drama and a knitting project that is almost done. Sometimes I wish I could blog about other people's problems. But that isn't very nice or conducive to positive family relationships, so yeah.

Today will end with me buying deodorant that "does not smell like marijuana" (The one I bought last month is hemp based and apparently smells like I'm a walking poster for drug use) and hopefully swimming after dinner.  So yeah, what's up with you? How are you doing? Tell me all sorts of wonderful things about waists that are not currently expanding so I can live vicariously though your summer wardrobe.

Crochet Seamless Rainbow Gloves

Hi guys! Ever wanted to crochet some fingerless gloves but hate the "seam"? Well, I made a tutorial on how to crochet in the round and make a pair of seamless fingerless gloves. Hope you like the tutorial!

You can download the PDF here or and watch the video on my YouTube channel (or click play below).  You need worsted weight yarn, a 4.5mm crochet hook (for the med size) and a healthy obsession with rainbows. Happy crocheting!

When I Took Charge of my Health

I wanted to write a post about my journey. Two and a half years, two miscarriages (and the one from when I was in college, that I didn't know was related) and a lot of doctors appointments. The doctors were kind (mostly) and amazing (mostly) but they couldn't find anything wrong. My cycle is pristine. My blood work is great. My ultrasound showed no abnormalities. But I couldn't keep my pregnancies, I had a terrible digestive system, blood pressure and blood sugar problems and chronic fatigue. 

It was one year from my last miscarriage (almost exactly) that I became pregnant again with the little boy I am now carrying. During that year I decided to take control of my own life, as much as I could. I know, I can't "control" my life. But I wanted to fix the things I did have control over. I wanted to feel like I was doing all I could to realize my goal of starting a family.

These are the things I changed over the course of that year.

Obviously, I don't know if any of them played any part in helping me keep the baby I am now carrying. I don't know if they just made me a healthier person or if they perhaps played a vital role in boosting my body to help me sustain life. I decided at the beginning of that year after my last miscarriage that I was going to focus getting healthy and not worry about becoming pregnant. During this year I used no birth control, and didn't get pregnant until the end! Near the end I was really worried I could no longer get pregnant, through. And then I did..and boy, was it a shock. 

Here are things I changed, in chronological order:

1. Started taking a whole foods organic multivitamin. (This one: MegaFood Women's One Daily) It really helped my brain fog. Now I take their prenatal version.
2. Attempted to start exercising.  
3. Stopped using my microwave (I never said I wasn't extreme, yeah?)
4. Stopped drinking water with fluoride in it. Our town adds fluoride to all the water. I distilled all my water for several months. I no longer do this. But I did notice less brain fog and more energy. I want to buy filters for my house that will just filter it out, but they are very expensive. A regular filter will not remove fluoride.
5. Did a cleanse to attempt to fix my lifelong constipation and bloating.  (I chose Gaia Herbs Supreme Cleanse Kit and you can watch me vlog every day through it here. In short, it REALLY helped my constipation but after finishing the cleanse everything went right back to "normal". Sigh. Also, didn't help my bloating at all.)
6. Gave up soy. And corn.
7. Researched GMOs. Started buying all organic food much to the shock of my husband's wallet. 
8. Realized finally that I have a terrible gut. Massive researching about the human digestive track and a lot of learning happened. Started drinking kombucha to populate my track with good bacteria and tried to eat other fermented foods (couldn't do it, kimchi is gross, I'm sorry). Ate yogurt every day. (Still eat yogurt, sometimes drink kombucha)
9. Decided to give up gluten to see if I could reduce the amount of inflammation and pain I deal with in my arms and hands sometimes as well as see if it would help my gut. (Didn't really notice a difference in the inflammation, but noticed better digestion.)
10. Decided to go on the Paleo diet after a friend told me about it and it's magical properties in curing inflammation, pain, constipation and bloating. (It worked. Like a dream. Only it's very hard to maintain, and not allowed for pregnancy. Now that I'm expecting I just avoid gluten and sugar. I had no idea how much of my brain fog was from eating way to much sugar daily. I LOVE being paleo so much that after I wean my little man-baby you can bet I will be right back on it. I need to do a whole post on this. It took me three months just to start the diet because of how crazy it is.)
11. Started taking Juice Plus+ (not a vitamin, just veggies and fruits in pill form with sugar removed. It does help my constipation slightly. I still take this every day) 
12. Stopped cooking in anything with aluminum or plastic in it. This means no aluminum foil. Bought only surgical steel grade stainless pans, and utensils. No non-stick.
13. Started taking a fish oil. (I take Fermented Cod Liver Oil) 
14. Started taking digestive enzymes. (I just started Garden of Life RAW Enzymes two months ago. Can't tell if they are helping yet)

Right now I spend close to $100 on supplements a month. I'm still trying to find what works for me and what helps my body feel good. But these are all the things I changed or tried to change in my attempt to become healthy. I lost almost 20 pounds (lets not talk about how much I've gained back, please. I will cry on you) and by the time a year rolled around, I was feeling amazing. My blood pressure was normal. I no longer had any pre-diabeties symptoms and my fatigue was gone. My constipation is so much better (but not fixed)... and I felt like I was a healthier person. My body responded so well to my changes!

Then I got pregnant and nausea and everything went right out the window because I was eating whatever I could keep down and whatever my husband brought home...but lets not talk about that. I'm back on track now for what I would call a very healthy diet and I'm very happy. I really try to exercise every other day, and I don't eat any refined sugar or gluten. My gut is far from healed but it is a lot better then it was.

Oh, and I'm having a baby. So there is that, too.

Have you ever had a food/body adventure-crisis? How did it turn out? What did you learn about your own body that you didn't know before?

20th Week Update Blog

I don't know what this post should be called. A look into my highly in inefficient coping mechanisms due to (potentially) life altering medical situations? Something like that.

So, last week we learned that we are having a boy. Yay, a boy. Now lets move on to what's been making me hyperventilate for the past few days. During the ultrasound the technician discovered I have marginal placenta previa. What is that? You are as clueless as me? Well, it means that my placenta is to close to my cervix. A normal placenta (according to my goggling) is supposed to be halfway between the top of your uterus and the bottom (cervix) at your 20 weeks appointment.

I have grade two placenta previa right now, categorized as minor.

This is scary because I remember them saying at my first ultrasound in my first trimester that my placenta was fine. Which means it has moved down, not up like a normal...person. Why can't I ever be a normal person?!

Anyway, I wish someone had told me I was as a higher risk for placenta previa, due to the multiple miscarriages I've had. The other factors that put you at risk are being over 35 (I'm not) having had a c-section in a previous pregnancy (I haven't) and smoking and drugs (never). So perhaps I wasn't that high of a risk. But I wish someone had mentioned this. Maybe. I don't know.

It's never happened to anyone I know. Don't people always say that? But yeah.

Anyway, I have another ultrasound in 8 weeks to find out if my uterus grows correctly and pushes my placenta up. (the placenta doesn't actually move...but my uterus grows and this can change where it happens to be) There are three things that can happen at the next ultrasound.

• If it moves up, I'm okay. I will have another ultrasound before delivery to make sure it didn't move back, depending on how far my uterus has pushed it to make sure I can go ahead with my vaginal delivery. This would be the best option.
• It might stay in the same place. This means I would have to wait another 8 weeks, putting me at 36 weeks gestation--and I would have to check again. If it doesn't move I'll have a low risk c-section close to my due date.
• It might go lower. This would put me basically into a full placenta previa. I would need to have a c-section before going into labor, and could have other complications like bleeding and needing to be hospitalized.

I am terrified of surgery and needles. Absolutely stone cold terrified. A c-section is basically my worst fear. I don't even know if I will need one yet (but they were pretty sure I might, because of how it has grown lower since the first ultrasound) but after I learned about this I basically cried. All day.

And the next day. I honestly don't know what I will do if I have to have a c-section. I've researched and written a birth plan for my dream birth (totally natural) and now I'm going to write one for a c-section because I want to be prepared and informed. But the thought of having one fills me with fear and terror and makes me want to run away and hide in a corner but I can't because this baby boy has to come out somehow, and I would like to live to see him. But instead of looking forward to meeting him I feel like I'm carrying a ticking time bomb.

Anyway, please don't leave me a comment about how I should "just be happy about having a healthy baby". I am very happy about having a healthy baby. I am not happy about having major surgery and a c-section that requires needles, antibodies, pain medication, increased risk of failing at breastfeeding, harder recovery, increased risk of hormone imbalance, and more expensive bills. Oh, and also increased risk of me dying. Because placenta previa is very serious when it is fully covering your cervix at stage 4. This thing I'm going through isn't really about my baby. He will be okay. He has my husband to take care of him, and I WILL be bringing organic formula to the hospital in case it is needed. It's kinda about me. And my dreams of me birthing my baby myself drying up before my eyes. Of being the first one to see him. The first one to hold him.

Oh, and did I mention that you can't have sex when you are diagnosed with any stage of placenta previa?

Well now you know. I would love some prayers on this issue, that God's will is done and that I am able to cope with whatever is necessary. Because I know I'm being melodramatic. Help.

My Creative Space

Last month Melmaria posted about her creative space, and that made me want to do a post about my space as well! Her space is very well organized and very cute. Mine is definitely not as cute, but it works for me and makes me happy. I'm also sharing a space with my husband and hopefully that should change (he is almost done with the backyard shed where he wants to set up his own space...because we both have different ideas of feng shui.

When you first walk up into the loft you find Minecraft Husband! Minecraft husband does not like to be bothered and must be placated with treats and tea. He also likes the light off.

On the other side of Minecraft Husband are my clothes. The closet in our bedroom is super tiny, and just holds my husband's clothes right now. I have my stuff upstairs, and I love having the room to spread out!

To the left of Minecraft Husband is my yarn closet. I own a lot of yarn. Some women collect shoes (not me, I own like 8 pairs) or perfume (yuck, don't own any) or other such things. I collect yarn. I am happy with my choice in life, because unlike perfume or shoes, yarn is colorful, fun, plushy, and endlessly entertaining. And sometimes just as expensive. (but don't tell my husband)

Right behind Mindcraft Husband is basically the rest of the room. There are two big recliner chairs (one will go with husband to his space, one will stay with me) a second computer where I edit videos since my Macintosh is circa 2008 and can't even read my video files...and my sewing and knitting space.

You can usually find me here, keeping warm, enjoying food, blogging and knitting away.

I have dreams for renovating this space, and a lot of ideas, but with a baby on the way I don't know how much time I will have. And it's not a priority right now. I do, however, want to hang up some posters (I bought some totoro ones off amazon!) and perhaps an inspiration board or two. I know that a portion of this space will be my kids playroom, and I'm going to put a bassinet up here so when I shower and when baby naps, I can knit.

What does your space look like? Please leave me some links, I'd love to see!