1) Find a diaper bag that is both cute and functional, big enough for everything but not cumbersome or bulky or annoying to use (why do some have so many pockets?) (why do some not have enough pockets?) (the struggle) (I've spent too much money trying different bags and hate them all)
2) Not yell at my toddler (or goals that are not going to happen) (because I'm human) (and little tiny people know how to push buttons) (and I'm human)
3) Find some kind of self care/ cleaning the house / spending time with the husband balance without mentally or emotionally crashing or spiraling down into crippling anxiety from the stress of managing a life with little people in it. I really struggle with this. Either my house is clean, but I'm totally whiny because I didn't remember to take time for myself. Or I spend time with my husband because I love him and he sometimes gets the short end of my attention because cooking, cleaning, laundry and toddlers...but I've noticed when I do spend time with him, I struggle with feeling guilty about what I "SHOULD" be doing (aka cooking, cleaning, laundry and toddlers). I feel like I can't win and I want to try and figure this life-mom-but still my own person thing out.
4) Not feel like a tragedy or a failure if I "do nothing all day" but keep the kids alive. and myself. Survival days are rough.
5) Shower alone. (can you hear my manic laughter) perhaps this goal should just read "shower".
6) Maybe actually make some time for my friends. I miss having friends. Life takes up so much time just trying to survive that making time for friends is kinda impossible. And that is sad--because motherhood can be very isolating and friends would be nice. If only they didn't require time. Or effort, because sometimes I have none left over. And I really miss my friends.
Anyway these are more just things I am acknowledging I am struggling with as I am 37 weeks pregnant and mom to a feisty two year old. I don't know what the next year will bring but I am trying to look forward to birth, postpartum, and raising another human. I want to think I can handle it all, but I know without God, friends and family I would not be half as good a mom as I am.
Here is to 2018. What are your goals?
