Week 124

No Rebekah yet! But we do all get sick...yuck!

One Year Ago, Week 72
Two Years Ago, Week 20

four weeks postpartum

My Rebekah is four weeks old! I can't believe it! She's so alert, watching everything, grabbing my finger and also her own hair. She's wonderful to watch and hold, and I love that God has given me nine months of pregnancy and four weeks of cuddles with her. I hope for many more years to come!

She is breastfeeding like a champ--but having lots of gas, so I think she might be swallowing a lot of air. She was over 9 pounds at her four week check up! But, because of some latch issues, we have an appointment tomorrow to check for tongue and lip tie on her. I am nervous for sure; I don't want her to have to get something clipped--I can't stand to see her cry. However if it helps her air-ingesting issues and colic I know it's the best thing.

So what is new? She's holding her head up a bit! Of course she's still wobbly, but she really is pushing up and looking around and trying to roll over (I think she'll roll over quicker than Reuben for sure, she naturally rocks side to side when we do tummy time).

Reuben is adjusting well. Tomorrow we are going to start on TV detox--I have been lax on our TV watching recently because of, well, postpartum. And lax on his food--he had Bojangles yesterday and Burger King for lunch today! Gasp. (haha)

Anyway, my postpartum period of rest is going well. I feel great--tired, yes, but no pelvic pain and my bleeding has stopped. I am able to do everything I need to do as a mom, if only I had time to do it. I am still going to wait until 6 weeks postpartum to exercise! Not that I have hours in the day to spare for that right now; with a curious toddler and an boob-loving infant that wish to be attached to me 24/7. Literally. 24/7. Have you seen my Instagram co-sleeping picture?

I am so blessed, tired, and yes stressed at times. I have the best friends, the greatest crochet ideas, and no time to spend on any of them. May God give me grace for myself.

proof I do feed him healthy things (bread by Maison d'Orion Catering)

What's in my Hospital Bag for Baby #2

What I packed in my hopeful-to-be-medication free hospital birth bag for the birth of my second child. Less than the first time! Everything fit in one bag (for Reuben's birth I brought two bags and barely used anything) and there is still some room to spare as well.

Week 123

The week right before I hit full term with Rebekah! By the time this posts, she is here--but right now I don't know when she will get here! Ahh! This was also my husband's first full week back to work after our Christmas vacation, and the week of my birthday "weekend". We celebrated a bit early with some child-free alone time and a trip to my favorite restaurant!

One Year Ago, Week 71
Two Years Ago, Week 19

Book Update

So my book that I wrote during NaNoWriMo2016 took a HUGE back burner setting to my pregnancy in 2017. I had planned to publish it last year (2017) but morning sickness kicked my butt. I'm sorry. I feel really unprofessional about it, as well as guilty--but it is what it is. I am about 50 pages from finishing up my second draft after my good personal friend edited it. That is only one edit. I will need 2-3 more before publishing it, and hope to get those done this year. I really really want to! I still have the e-mail addresses of those who wanted to edit it for me, so I will still email you.

A year later. It is what it is, guys.

It's been my lifelong dream to publish a book, so I really feel a lot of anxiety and also excitement about it.

Please be patient with me as I figure this out!

Rebekah Wears Things I Made Her

I knit and crochet a lot of things for Rebekah before she was born, and seeing her wear them all has been so special for me! I posted most of these on Instagram already but also wanted to share here...

I can't wait to make her (and Reuben) more things!

The blue coat above was actually made by Wool and Wheel for my son when he was born. It's nice to see Rebekah wear it!

Crochet Baby Blanket Tutorial

I made up a pretty baby blanket for Rebekah. It has purple and pink stripes and is super soft! If you want to make one, I made a easy crochet baby blanket pattern on my YouTube. Enjoy!

2018 House Tour

It's time for my annual house tour! It's changed SO MUCH this year. I watched last years video and thought to myself that just a year ago I was living in clutter! We have downsized a lot!

Next year my video will have a little girl in it...

You can see all my house tours here.

week three

Three weeks already? Three precious exhausting weeks with Rebekah, Brian and Reuben. I am tired beyond belief yet my heart is so full. I cry almost every day from either something beautiful or from something hard. I can't stop listening to my labor playlist.

I decided this week to stop keto because I was having cravings, and it just sounded so much easier to eat gluten free. And my diabetes is supposed to be gone with the exit of Rebekah's placenta, right? Wrong. Three days after trying that I have jumped right back on keto because it was horrible. I won't go into it, but my body seems to like being keto right now and I'm going to listen to my body even if it is more time consuming. And less fun. But also being a functioning human is important. So. Keto. For now. Also, husband is losing weight and feeling great too and does not want to quit. I want to support him and myself. But I also crave donuts and chips and fruit. I need time to think about this. Deciding anything on a whim isn't good. Why is everything hard.

Rebekah is perfect. I love her! She's a wonderful baby: you know, the kind that does not want to be put down? Also, for some reason she throws a fit every night right when I want to go to bed when she's been well-behaved all day. But she's perfect and I love her. We've been bedsharing, I've moved from sleeping with her in the recliner to sleeping with her in my arms in bed. I do plan on trying out the dockatot for night sleeping sometime...probably around 2-4 months? Reuben has quit napping because we quit nursing (more tears) but HAS BEEN GOING TO BED AT 7PM almost every night. This has been so restful for Brian and I--we get an hour or two to ourselves (well, while I nurse Rebekah, but that's not near as demanding as dividing my attention between Rebekah and a toddler). We've been watching this show called "Psych" and eating snacks. And holding hands. It's like we are newlyweds again. But sleep deprived newlyweds. Instead of doe-eyed ones.

Reuben is coping a lot better. We are still watching a bit much TV and I am still struggling with giving him a good amount of attention. But he is adjusting.

Also, I tried to go out to the park with them both this week for my first non-appointment related venture. It was SO HARD. Getting everything together, putting Rebekah down, (she cried) trying to find my toddlers shoes--my shoes--ugh. By the time we made it to the car I was a frustrated bundle of nerves. But the car ride was smooth--no one cried, and we made it one piece. I even (maybe) started to relax! However managing two kids at the park--even if one can't walk yet--was not for the faint of heart. We were at the park for 20 minutes and I nursed almost the whole time while Reuben took off his shoes and ran around in the muddy puddles. (I told him not to take his shoes off. He would not listen). And after that I was DONE with life, so we went to Panera (the drive through) and mama treated herself to a salad and the toddler to mac and cheese. Then we went home and watched TV. Again.

But we did survive our first outing with only mama with minimal yelling (the shoes, the shoes, leave your shoes on toddler!) and Panera, so I really shouldn't complain.

How are you guys doing? Next week is week four. I want my husband to stay home and make me lunch. I am tired. When do babies sleep more? If she's anything like my son--I have a few years to go.

Week 122

The week my husband went back to work from our wonderful Christmas vacation. Our first week in 2018! It was a good week, but hard to get back into the swing of things and our routine. I am more and more aware that every day could be Reuben's and my last day together. Before Rebekah! Oh Rebekah, when will you arrive?

One Year Ago, Week 70
Two Years Ago, Week 18

Gestational Diabetes, my story

I was shocked when my midwife said I failed my gestational diabetes test. I am paleo, have been for three years, and I thought this was healthy enough and low carb enough that I wouldn't develop gestational diabetes. I also didn't have it with my pregnancy with Reuben, so I didn't even consider the possibly this time around! Little did I know that gestational diabetes is majorly hormone related and not diet-centered!

I have an extreme fear of needles. Not only that, but I suffer from pregnancy depression and anxiety (as in, this only happens when I am pregnant). Needless to say it was not a good week for me. At all.

But this is my story. I went keto to manage my gestational diabetes because I want to avoid medicating myself if at all possible. And I developed some good coping mechanisms to help me with my testing fears. I hope these two videos will help with others with their own gestational diabetes diagnosis, or at least shed some light into what my journey looked like!

A Week of Keto Dinners

I eat a lot of different things on the keto diet but these are a few of my favorite easy keto dinners that I keep coming back to! Some are made by me and some are from others--I'll link where I can!

This is a really easy dinner. I take half an onion, and a pound or half a pound of ground beef or sausage and cook it. I add a bag of butternut squash risotto from the frozen section of our local store, and half a bag of kale or spinach, a dash or two of milk or butter, and some spices. Cooks up fast and is super yummy!

Something more "traditional" looking. Baked chicken tenders breaded in almond flour and nutritional yeast (I do a 1:1 mixture) and cauliflower mashed with salt, pepper and butter. Two low carb dipping sides. 

This is the keto egg roll in a bowl recipe from ketogasm. It's really good!

Green curry. Basically just green curry paste, veggies, chicken and coconut milk! Super simple and very filling. Sometimes we add cauliflower rice.

Taco salad. Taco meat in taco seasoning on top of salad, with everything you'd put on a taco. I use chipotle low carb dressing--so yum and spicy! My husband actually cooked this, so I am not quite sure of the process, but it was very very good.

A very simple keto meal of roasted (or pan-fried) broccoli and mushrooms with fish.

Keto ramen! So amazingly delicious and only took around 15 minutes to make, I'm serious! This is actually a whole 30 recipe but it's keto too. I found it on instagram.

What are you guys eating for dinner lately?

two weeks

Daddy goes back to work tomorrow and I will be alone with my two offspring from Monday to Friday. These past two weeks of postpartum rest were so needed and so wonderful; filled with lots of nursing, husband cooking, and reading books to a toddler while a baby slept on my chest. I am sure all those things will continue to happen--but I will miss my husband next week. It's nice to be able to hand him a baby when I want to shower or have him calm a tantrum from the toddler while I nurse. I don't know how I am going to do all this on my own.

Most everything has gone smoothly. Except for bedtime. Reuben still takes hours to fall asleep, whines, cries, and demands to nurse. I nursed all through pregnancy batting nursing aversions only to STILL have nursing aversions after birthing Rebekah. I only have issues when nursing the toddler. Call it the saddest irony you've ever heard of--but I can't nurse my toddler without severe repercussions. The longer he nurses, the more stressed and anxious I get. I even start to physically get ill and have to hold back tears of frustration and pain. It's the strangest thing. So we are weaning. I have not been able to nurse him to sleep at night since Rebekah was born, and I am mourning that. I wasn't ready to wean, and he isn't ready to wean, but we have to for my mental health. I can't believe I have to quit nursing him at two and a half, and I've been crying about that too--I will miss our sweet nursing bond and must accept that he is growing up and on without me. We are down to nursing for nap and a little bit at bedtime, as much as I can stand. Soon that will be cut out. One day soon will be the last time I nurse him, and I want to sob even typing that. It's been the one thing we have shared and the main comfort for him since he was born and it is hard for me to accept that it's almost over, even if I need it to be.

We still don't know what to do about bedtime. We are doing a mixture of cuddling and singing to him at this point, as well as frustratingly telling him to PLEASE get back in bed, lay quietly, go to sleep, don't throw your stuffed animals... Sleep is not going well. We just need to stick it out but I wasn't prepared for changing our norm so quickly (nursing to sleep) and all the changes are probably frustrating for him too--new bedtime routine, new sister, busy mommy. It's a lot for me to deal with and I'm an adult!

Rebekah is growing and changing and even at two weeks old looks so different from her newborn pictures! I am in love with her, with her and Reuben. He's the best big brother, very gentle, already wanting to share his toys and food even when I keep reminding him she's too small. He loves her. I am sure she will grow to adore him too! Seeing them share such a sweet bond fills my heart with joy.

That is week two. Two weeks of her being here. And next week real life begins as daddy returns to work and I return to being a full time stay at home mommy--to two wonderful kids, not just one. Pray for me. Pray I can remain calm, manage tasks, nurse a baby, and still give my toddler the attention he needs as a growing child.

Week 121

The week of Christmas! Reuben received his first stocking and we all had fun opening gifts, having a week of staycation (my 36th week of pregnancy with Rebekah) and eating keto food. Happy Birthday Jesus!

One Year Ago, Week 69
Two Years Ago, Week 17

Mama Natural Pregnancy vs Nourishing Traditions Book

If you have followed my blog for any length of time or watched my vlogs, you know I am fairly crunchy minded. I don't mind the label, I know it's a way of life I gravitate towards and love. Thus it would come to no surprise that I sought out natural pregnancy books. I've read two so far and wanted to compare and contrast them a bit.

The first one I read when I was pregnant with Reuben (and reread this time around too) is the Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby and Childcare. This second time around I also bought Mama Natural's pregnancy book, The Mama Natural Week by Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth.  And after reading them I noticed some substantial differences I thought I would address in a video review! They are very different. I ended up liking speacts of both; but my favorite has to be Nourishing Traditions. I tell you why in the video.

What about you? Have you read these, and what did you think?