A few weeks ago we went on a family
outing to the blue ridge parkway. I vlogged it, and you can see it
here. The sun was shining but it wasn't too hot, the day was
beautiful and breezy. Both Reuben and Rebekah were in great moods.
Becky slept the whole car ride. I usually have a lot of anxiety about
traveling with small kids (this part of the parkway is about 45 min
from our home) because of the crying. I can't listen to my child cry
in the car. It breaks my heart.
But on this day, she didn't cry. She
slept, the toddler slept, and husband and I chatted like we didn't
have two kids under 3(ish) and were battling sleep deprivation and
life fatigue.
It was a perfect day. Except for the
child that almost drowned.
I didn't talk about this in my vlog.
Because it was confusing and really really scary. But now I've had a
lot of time to think about it and Now I Have Thoughts.
It happened like this.
We had been exploring about 15 minutes,
and were walking a small trail that led down to a swimming pond
through some stone steps. Reuben was fascinated by the stone steps,
and we were fascinated with keeping him from falling into the water.
I was so wrapped in watching Reuben,
taking pictures and videos of our time together; I wasn't paying
attention to others around me. I had seen enough to ascertain that
there were several couples, a biker gang, and a few families also
enjoying the balmy summer air. But I hadn't looked closely at anyone.
I heard one of the mothers scream her
child's name. She was on the other side of the swimming pond with one
of her children (I later learned she had three) and her husband. One
of her sons had fallen in the water. They were really far away but
they immediately started towards him—he was drowning. He wasn't
supposed to be in the water at all, but somehow had fallen or
wandered in. He looked to be around 6-7 years old. I was wearing
Becky and no help—being farther away. A elderly women on the faux
beach close to the drowning boy jumped in the water and grabbed him.
I would say everything in the paragraph above happened in less than
one minute.
The cry of the mother—that startled
me, startled everyone else too. All the families and couples and the
biker gang heard it. And we all stood there frozen, watching. I
suppose no one knew what to do. It's like we were all collectively
holding our breath, waiting on the edge of panic for relief.
I'm glad to say the boy was fine. Once
everyone saw that, it's like we all let out our breath together and
went back to what we were doing. At least, he seemed fine. I
felt like I should go talk to the young mother because I was sure she
must be feeling awkward about being the center of attention like
that, and I really wanted to tell her about dry drowning if she
didn't already know. I waited about ten minutes fuming over what to
say and if I really should approach her, but in the end I walked up
to talk to her. She seemed really tense and I think she was worried I
was going to scold her, but after I asked how her son was and chatted
with her a bit as she relaxed. It turned out the elderly lady who had
jumped in to grab the son was his grandmother, and she also chatted
with me. I mentioned dry drowning, but she already knew about it. I
told her she was brave and a good mother and said that scary things
happen to everyone, but I can't remember the exact words I said. I
just knew I wanted to let her know I cared, and diffuse some of the
awkwardness. We had all just stared at her, frozen, until it became
apparent her child was okay! In times of stress—I've noticed the
majority of people, myself included—freeze. It's odd.
I thought about what happened over and
over again for the rest of the day, unable to shake it off. The boy,
quietly drowning. Not splashing, not crying for help. The mother's
scream when she noticed. The way they started towards him even
through they were really far away. The grandmother jumping in even
through she was fully clothed. All of us unable to move.
Anyway, I was reminded of that time at
the blue ridge parkway when two scary things happened with Reuben
this month. One was we lost him in Aldi's. I can laugh about it now,
but at the time I was very angry with him and with my husband. We
were all there—Brian, Rebekah, Reuben and me. Daddy had Reuben in
his cart and I was wearing Rebekah. Daddy said Reuben wanted down to
go to me (I was waiting for them to restock the gluten free bread)
but he didn't tell me! So he let Reuben down out of the cart and
presumably Reuben was supposed to run to me. Only, I wasn't even
looking for him so I have no idea if he did or not. Brian continued
shopping. When I rejoined Brian, I noticed Reuben wasn't with him.
Where was he? Brian said he was with me. No, I said. He was in your
cart. At this point I was panicking. I couldn't do anything. I told
Brian to find him, and he did. He located Reuben a few isles away- he
was fine. But he could have been kidnapped, lost or run over!
Seriously. We now have a rule that Parent #2 needs to tell Other
Parent if switching kids.
The second thing was that Reuben fell.
He hasn't fallen off anything since he was around 18m, so I wasn't
expecting it. He fell off a table at our house and landed right on
his mouth. He really hurt his teeth and gums and it was so stressful.
We are still waiting for a dentist appointment to get everything
looked at, but I think he will be okay. The stress is more of dealing
with the crying upset toddler and the blood and the whining. Oh, the
whining.
Why God chose to bless me with a
mountain goat for a son, I have no idea. It is a total point of
anxiety in our family! Reuben climbs on everything! He does
not fall—I mean, since 18 months old. But he has no common sense or
self awareness, making my job of keeping him off anything that looks
remotely climbable impossible. I am trying to teach him to no
avail that he is in control of his body and he can deny his climbing
urges. He does not get it. At all. This kid is all idea = action, no
forethought or planning! Just like his mama, sadly. But I have thirty
years of experience to buffer my whims, and I definitely do not ever
feel like climbing on anything. I just also want to do all the ideas
that pop into my head right when they happen.
He needs to learn that he does not have
to execute every idea that pops into his head!
Anyway, these three lessons have taught
me, or shown me, how little control I have. Control as a mother, and
control as a citizen of the world. Scary things happen. God is the
only one who I can cast my fears on, and put my hope in. Evermore I
believe this, especially after recent experiences. God controls life
and death. He is the master over our world, even if it is in sin due
to our own choices. And he is good.
He is so good.
