Reuben Turns Four

My baby is four! He has accepted God as his savior, prays daily and is full of curiosity and questions. "Why" is probably his favorite thing to ask. He also loves cookies, bacon, and strangely enough bell peppers. His favorite fruit is peaches, and he LOVES dairy free ice cream when we can get it. He's social and outgoing, a total extrovert. He wants to learn to read and asks all the time for me to teach him (we are working on it) and is very helpful in the kitchen.

He also likes to antagonize his sister, so don't think he's perfect. I mean, he is perfect, but he's human. I love him.

For his birthday this year we took him to a water park in Roanoke. He had a blast. He loves swimming. After that we had a small party with family only and had a separate get together with my church family the following week. I can't believe he is four!

His favorite thing to watch right now is Daniel Tiger. He loves his legos and magna tiles (that was his birthday gift) and he enjoys climbing and playing outside.

As you can see, I did find some pictures of his cake on my iPhone! The cake wouldn't come out of the pan so I crumbled it on top. It's a strawberry cake and is vegan and gluten free. It was also delcious. Happy Birthday Reuben!

Motherhood is Hard

Reuben's prayer tonight at bedtime was "Dear God, thank you for going to Amy's house. Amen." Amy is a good friend of mine and today we went to her house for dinner. Reuben and Becky played with her kids in the backyard and she and I sat on her awesome porch and talked. It was wonderful. My husband has been working crazy hours again and I have been dealing with frustration, loneliness and fatigue by the time he gets home between 7-9pm. Going out this evening really mixed things up and took me out of my home when I needed it most.

Motherhood is just hard. I know how to establish boundaries with friends and family. It was something I learned in my 30s. What I don't know is how to establish boundaries with my children. I don't know if such a thing exists. Children are wild creatures who cling to their mothers like barnacles to a whale. This is both beautiful and exhausting.

I think part of the problem is that Becky (18 months) is still not sleeping through the night. I am tired. We bed-share, and I have started the process of night weaning her. She is a really light sleeper (unlike Reuben, who just didn't sleep--but once he does he's OUT) and she likes to sleep plastered to my side and she likes to wake up 3-5 times a night.

This mama needs sleep. And space. Oh, and I need sleep to get energy.

I hope to have her sleeping through the night in a month. I do a gentle sleep training, no cry it out here, and we are night weaning at the same time, so I know it's going to take awhile. I am trying to trust the process and put my rest and hope in God. One day I will sleep again. Hopefully that day will be soon.

In other news, next week we start Reuben's low key Charlotte Mason preschool! I'm so excited. I've been doing the morning basket for awhile now and it's so helpful. I am a zombie when I wake up and all he wants to do is play with what's in his basket while I make breakfast and do yoga, so that's awesome. We will be doing nature study, bible verse and art, crafts and other homeschooling activities in our preschool. I plan on just doing it with Becky too. I know she's too young, but she will love the attention. I'll make some posts about it if people are interested?

Reuben also turned four this month!! I was looking through his birthday pictures and you know what, I forgot to take a picture of his cake. I might have one on my iPhone but there are none on the camera. What kind of mother am I?

That is all for the updates. I am gearing up for homeschooling, trying to recover from two weeks of insane anxiety and a little depression that basically crippled me, and eating low carb because my blood sugar is crazy and I don't know what else to do. Autoimmune problems are horrible. But God is good and I am going to keep trying to lean on him.

How are you all? How can I pray for you?

The Bekah Sweater

I finally finished Rebekah's sweater! I love it. I also wrote down the pattern if you want to make one for your toddler. I only made one size, 2T! Maybe I'll make more sizes if people like it. You can download the pattern here on Ravelry.

This sweater has ruffles on each side and is made with garter stitch. The ruffles are picked up and knitted in fingering weight yarn while the sweater is made with aran (heavy worsted) yarn.

I absolutely love it and already want to make another one! Click on the picture or on the link above to take you to the pattern page!

a good book becomes part of you

Why do people read books? Some may say for the stories—and that is partially true. But one reason I read books is for the ending. Or rather, the moments after the ending, where the whole of the book—characters, plot, storyline and prose-- can be contemplated and digested at once. When the whole story is told and all the pieces of the puzzle fit together and I sit back and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. Suddenly I remember the cold tea that's sitting next to me that I forgot to drink because I couldn't stop reading. And just like that, as I set the volume aside. Quite a small thing, are books, and made of such fragile paper. Yet they move mountains and churn the sluggish coggs of my mind.

I realize where I am and the shock of being back inside my own body makes me unable to speak for a few seconds. 

That is finishing a good book. That is beauty and mystery come full circle. That is reading.

There is something otherworldly about the hour after the last page is turned. Everything is different. I am not the same person I was when I started the book. The world is not the same world. Of course, this depends on the book. Some books do not satisfy—where as other are like jewels in the sun and lifeblood to my veins.

Today I finished The Distant Hours by Kate Morton and the writing was suburb. She really understands people; the depths of human relations and the lenses through which an individual views the world. Not only does she understand but she can beautifully relate it to the reader with a skillful, fluid prose that is akin to what I must do when I breathe in and out. Except she does it with a pen.

I will say that not all her books have made me feel. I hated two of the four of hers I've read. But of the two I loved, I have loved them with a passion unequal. They are literary masterpieces .

After I have read a particularly good book I feel satisfied. I feel complete. Centered.

After I've finished a novel of particular wonder I always need a break of 2-3 days to just mourn and celebrate. I'm mourning that the world is closed to me. There is no more I can learn about the characters and places I have come to adore. There might not be closure.

But I also celebrate as I internalize the ideas, concepts and “breath” of whatever novel I've finished.

A good book should leave you with that out of air quality, like the way an invigorating swim in the moonlight with your lover lingers with you long after the honeymoon is over.

A good book becomes part of you.

Charlotte Mason Preschool Printables

We are doing a low key Charlotte Mason preschool with Reuben this fall. I plan on making a whole post about our goals and the things we will be focusing on, but for right now I am just creating some printables to use as I plan our weeks. You can download them by right clicking and saving to your computer or download the high resolution PDFs (mint green lesson plan here and leafy plan here).

Please feel free to donate $1 to me if you love it and want to see more!

Apples

It has been AGES since I have painted. And I miss it. So this week I made sure to make time to watercolor and relax! Painting always reminds me of my grandmother who used to send me flowers doodled on notes in the mail.

Necklaces for Moms

I was contacted by Get Me a Necklace to write up a sponsored post for them. I have never done a sponsored post without actually receiving the product, but GMaN was more interested in bringing awareness to their website and jewelry and less about a review. So please note this is not a review but more my thoughts on their website so you can check it out.

I did receive $20 for this post and that is exciting, right? I get contacted by so many people to write up things and never get offered payment (so I politely decline) but this one was different!

Two things really stuck out to me on GMaN. One, they have picture charms. I really want one of our family pictures made to wear on a charm bracelet. Two, they have infinity necklaces, and I really want one of those as well. I would put my grandmother and grandfathers names on it. I'm named after my grandmother.

I love that they are very country inclusive. There is an option to change the currency at the top of their website, so you can order from Canada or China or wherever you live.

They also have cheap engraved bracelets, family necklaces, and bracelets in sterling silver. I know my highschool self would have really wanted some of the couples jewelry.That was all the rage back in the day. Now I'm married and we live together so I don't pine over Brian the way I did when we were dating. I mean, I still love him. Our love has grown so much...

Anyway, check out the jewelry if you are interested. I'm sure I'll never do another sponsored post again so don't hate me. I was just excited!! Finally, someone takes blogging seriously!