100 Days (2/10)

After taking a photo of myself wearing the same dress 20 times now, I am glad to say I have learned something.

That something is: I don't do enough with my hair. For the next 10 days I am going to try to do a different hairstyle each day. I really need to do something with my hair. At least, that is what these pictures are telling me. Even exhausted homeschooling mothers whose days are full of wonder (and tantrums) can do their hair.

Also, I finished my Jupiter Crop sweater. I wore it twice in the last 10 days (upper right) but the second time I took it off before the picture; its hot here again and pushing 90f (32c). I can't wait to wear this sweater all the time this fall. It has been fun getting the kids or a friend or my husband to take a picture every day; and sometimes I just do the selfie. 

I still love the dress. Here is to the next 10 days! I'm 20% done.

On instagram I shared a picture of me playing the violin instead of me eating pizza, but the violin picture (which I loved) seems to have totally disappeared. My phone must be having a glitch. The sourdough pizza was amazing.

Also, in the middle there I am with Julia and her Wool& dress!

100 Days (1/10)

My friend Julia told me about the Wool& dress challenge where you wear one of their dresses for 100 days and they give you a $100 gift card.

So we both decided to do it! I just reached day 10 and here are my outfit photos. I am wearing the Brooklyn Merino Wool dress in Pacific. I bought a large but I kinda wish I got a medium, because I do not have a large chest and I think a M might have fit better. Oh well. I will make it work! (Been sticking a clip to the inside of the dress or wearing a tank top under it...)

The star of the show this week is Becky. Because we found Becky a matching dress! Its the Wrap Dress from Hanna Anderson. We saw it as we were shopping for some new PJs for Becky as she has outgrown the ones I bought her two years ago. So we got that for her and now we love matching whenever we can!

I am not tired of wearing this wool green dress yet and I love how easy it is to get dressed in the morning and finding different ways to style it.

Most pictures taken by my kids. Can you tell? LOL.

Handicraft 2022

For handicrafts this semester we are doing bookbinding! We are going through Bound. I have never done bookbinding before, and it has been such fun! We picked up a very inexpensive bookbinding kit from amazon and have done 5 of the projects so far.

This is the flip flap tab book. 

Crafts are my favorite part of homeschooling. Well, it's a toss up between that and reading. We read a lot. But crafts are something God buried a deep love of into my heart when he created me, and it is amazing and wonderful to share my love of creating things with my children. 

Hugs and happy homeschooling!

What I Read (July 2022)

All I read in July. It was a good month for cozy summer reading while my kids destroyed their rooms. Hah! Enjoy the spoiler free reviews below and please suggest me a book to add to my to-read stack if you know of a good one. Hugs!

Ruth Hall (8/10 stars)

I liked many things about Ruth Hall. I loved how she fought for her children in spite of her circumstances. I love how candid she is about how single women are treated and how people treat their own families. Pride is such a sin. I felt it quick to the heart--who in my family do I belittle? I should help those who are struggling more, it is my duty as a Christian, and I have been contemptuous and prideful when I should not, though I hope not near as bad as Ruth's in-laws, brother, or father. Their abandonment of her is wretchedly sad and downright evil.  

Another point I adored throughout the book is reading how Ruth's inlaws treat her, (they abuse and belittle her) especially in marriage. I have inlaws that have been just like that and to see it in print and see how it destroys, helped parts of myself heal. And see things clearly. 

Ruth is a gem. I want to read more by Fanny Fern (Ruth Hall is based on her life), but google tells me she wrote one other book but lots and lots of newspaper articles that were published into books and you can read them for free on Google Books! Her short stories are full of good sense and strong morals. Newspapers today should republish them, they are much needed. 

Words of Radiance (10/10 stars)

After reading The Way of Kings last week I jumped right into Words of Radiance. And it was everything I wanted, at least in arc completion and character development. I like things wrapping up with pretty little bows on top, but that is all I will say on the matter due to spoilers. Dalinar is still my favorite character but I am learning to be less annoyed by Shallan and even Kaladin has a warm spot in my heart. I was really upset about something that happens to Kaladin partway though the book that I thought was seriously unfair, but it all worked out. 

Because we are starting school in August I won't be reading the next book until Christmas, but it's already sitting on my nightstand. I am a bit nervous since obviously I really enjoyed the ending to WoR and honestly, I would be quite happy if the books ended there even if there are a few questions still unanswered. I know there will changes and cliffhangers in the next book.

Also, I bought the mass-market paperback of this book and had to literally cut it in half in order to read it. It was too big to hold and manage otherwise! 

Camilla  (3/10 stars)

This was a loan from a friend and thus I don't have it in my monthly stack above. I didn't like it. It was one of those emotionally introspective books that I would have loved as a sixteen or seventeen year old, but thirty-five-year me thought it insipid and a bit of a bore. Also, I hate it when characters cheat on each other, and when adultery is glamorized. It is distasteful to me; I know people cheat in real life but I find it reprehensible. And Camilla has no idea what she wants or even how to communicate with others, or have any boundaries. Poor kid. If anything, I felt sorry for her almost the entire time I was reading, either sorry or motherly. And I had higher hopes; this book is by the amazing Madeleine L'Engle who I have heard so much about. Camilla was my first read by her. I want to read the A Wrinkle in Time series but I am looking forward to it less after the disappointment of Camilla. 

Journey Back to Health (10/10 stars)

No person has changed my life more than Kim Fuhrmann of Our Fathers Farm. Because of God's grace and how he used her in my life, I am in remission from Lyme disease. Also the bitterness and anger that was simmering in my heart is gone. I am abiding in Christ. Journey Back to Health is Kim's book, and it was amazing. I cried while reading the first chapter. It is her story, and the story of health. It is deeply personal and revelational and chock-full of recipes. Some things I learned: dry brush, enemas, Kim's story about Africa, Raw Milk...I feel confidant not only in being my families doctor but knowing when I need to see a professional, and I feel no longer buried under the weight of my own ill health. Since I know her well I heard her voice as I read and it was a great comfort to me, like she was in the room speaking to me as a dear friend. I am making strides in regaining my health and it is because of God, and how God is using Kim!

Know and Tell (8/10 stars)

I will have to read this book again. I read all the parts about Form One narration and how to overcome obstacles in beginning narrations, and skimmed the rest of the book. This book was quite foundational for understanding narration and Charlotte Mason! I'm taking off two stars for a layout issue. Every few pages right in the middle of her book or in the middle of a paragraph she inserts examples of narrations. The examples are helpful but not at all laid out correctly. They bisect the book in the most annoying and interruptive manner and I greatly disliked it. 

I will go back and read it when Reuben enters Form Two, and beyond. Right now I don't need to understand how narration helps my student write amazing term papers! Hah.

The Goose Girl (8/10 stars)

This was an audible book--that I saw was available for free when I was searching for books for the kids. It was a nice fairy tale diversion and captivated me. I loved it! I downloaded Enna Burning next. 

The funny thing was, I know I have read these books before but for the life of me couldn't remember a single thing! It has been over 15 years though... ah, life.

I don't know what I am doing half the time

I have been really annoyed with myself today. I redownloaded Instagram, which is fine--if I was a normal person. Unfortunately I am...not. 

Instagram does the following to me:

First I have a 4-8 hour window where I love instagram. I love the photos, I love the funny videos, I catch up on some friends and post about my life. Instagram competes me. I have never been happier. Everything is rosy, golden, and good. 

Until suddenly it's not.

The euphoria never lasts more than one day. 24 hours later I wake to feelings of anxiety and stress. I must take pictures to post. I have to have a cute outfit because what if I am in the picture? I quickly become obsessed with getting the perfect shots of my cute children and posting for everyone to see. And as I begin to see what others are posting; my inner pessimist takes over. I start comparing my life to theirs. My carpet isn't that clean. My kid can't draw that well. I can't craft that mug. I can't knit that fast. She has a whole linen wardrobe! Suddenly I am unhappy, stressed and anxious. All over a photo app. And let's not even talk about the ads-- I am very susceptible to ads and have a tendency to impulse buy thinking that the next hot thing will indeed make me happy. And don't get me started by my near hourly need to check the app to see if any new updates have happened followed by 20 minutes of random scrolling and 300 reels later...

So I delete the app. 

I have repeated this process so many times... its frustrating and infuriating. By the way, the same thing happens with Facebook but I permanently deleted my Facebook, but I just can't bring myself to do that with Instagram yet. Why am I caught in this awful cycle? Why can't I have good healthy boundaries with social media? It's annoying. I hate it yet, I repeat it over and over again, sometimes weekly. Sometimes monthly. Sometimes daily. Yes I really have deleted Instagram in the morning and downloaded it again in the evening.

It's embarrassing to admit.    

I want to break the cycle. Maybe I really DO need to permanently delete my instagram or maybe just changing my password will be enough.

You know, the other day we were studying the life of Mahler (a famous musician) and I was reading over some letters he wrote. I was like--what will modern day biographies include? Our Facebook posts? Our text messages? Suddenly I felt very uneasy. What an awful legacy to leave behind, a bunch of random text messages and pictures of my food. I wouldn't want anyone reading my old text messages, but the very thing did happen to a friend of mine who died in late 2019. Her mother got her phone and read all her old Facebook messages. It upset a lot of people as those are private. I wouldn't mind my husband reading my messages, but I cringe a bit. I have vented my anger to friends when he has upset me. That's a bit awkward. I love my husband, he's awesome and he would understand. But my kids? My friends? I don't want them reading my personal correspondence via e-mail or texts! I have talked to many a friend when I have been upset after a long day, things I wouldn't want the world to see. Luckily I am not famous and I can't imagine anyone writing a bibliography about me of all people. 

But, I'm going to be a bit more careful about what I text. Hunter Biden should know. Also, my kids may see these things and I want them to know always they are loved and their autonomy is respected. 

I think I will have to permanently delete my instagram. I still don't want to. 

I don't know what makes me so addicted to social media. I know, it is probably what these apps want. The longer you use them the more money they make from you, right? I don't want to be stuck on some social media app though. When I am old, I won't care how many Facebook games of wordle I played or how any pictures of Susan's dog I looked at. I will care how much time I spent with my kids and all the memories of our lovely school together and life. Those I will reminisce on. And when I'm on instagram I am not growing. I am not playing the violin or reading a book or actually, you know, talking to a real human. 

I think I need a break from the internet. It was my goal to do our school this year with a long internet break, and I think I am going to do it, today. I'll give up Youtube, Instagram, and most other things until Christmas. 

I won't give up writing here. It is something that helps keep me alive. Writing is almost a fire inside my chest sometimes. I can't explain it, but after a long day writing it all out helps. 

I told a friend the other day that the hardest thing my generation has to deal with is getting off our phones and interacting with the world around us. Millennials are glued to our white screens and gen z is no better. What kind of legacy are we leaving for those who will come after? Kids in middle schools sing viral ticktock videos and babies as young as 18 months know how to work iPads. 

It's crazy. I need to radically change my life and my screen time so my kids have a chance, a chance at a normal life where they don't see their mother consumed by her phone. 

And that's what I was thinking about today as I ate a chocolate bar and felt guilty.