Week 38

Tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant! I'm so excited to get this baby out of me... I am resting. I am praying. I am planning for my natural birth. My bags and things are packed and the kids things are packed for their overnight stay with a friend. My husband is tired and keeps asking me when I am going to give birth. I really hope it will be this week but as I am still two weeks from my "due date" of May 14th, who knows?

Little girl is big, wiggly, kicking me, getting in the way and otherwise taking up all the room. 

My emotions are up and down and so is my energy. The end of pregnancy is just...blarhg. So ready! Bring on the contractions!! Each one will get me closer to baby.

Week 36

Well, we made it! Only two weeks left until 38 weeks and hopefully I will have this baby sometime that week.  That is what I am hoping. I think she will have a May birthday but I am totally fine with her surprising me with April if she wants. 

I feel like my life is a legit roller coster ride. I am disciplined mom one day and the next riddled with anxiety while feeding my kids toast for lunch. I don't know why life while pregnant is so hard. Perhaps it is that my husband has been working most weekends. Perhaps it is all the hormones and issues I have been dealing with in this pregnancy (gestational diabetes, low blood pressure, fear, stress, autoimmune issues, sickness...pica...) It is probably all of the above. I keep getting stuck in negative thoughts and the downward spiral catches me unprepared. 

This weekend my husband has off and he even took an extra day off just for our family since he has been working so much and he had the audacity to come home sick! Poor husband. He does all he can and now he is sick. Sometimes he wakes up fine the next day so I am hoping that happens tonight so that both of us can get some much needed rest. We need it. 

There has been too much disconnect in our family lately and we all need some family bonding time. Less screen time, more outside time. Less stress. Just to relax together. 

I still have a few things to get ready before baby comes but the main big ones are done. Crib set up, clothes filed away in our new dresser from Amazon. Hospital bag packed. Plans made, name (almost) picked out! Prayers said for my fears and anxieties that circle around me daily as I think about birth and postpartum. School has been set aside for now as we prepare for our family of four to become five. God is so good, and I do wish I had a better attitude throughout this pregnancy but I can't go back and change it now. 

Becky was born at 38 weeks (I can't remember exactly when in the 38th week but towards the end I think) and Reuben the day after his due date at 40 weeks 1 day. When will this little one decide to come into the world? I'm defiantly ready and praying for a day labor this time instead of an overnight adventure! Both my other ones have come (or through) the night and that just adds to the exhaustion. Thus I have asked God for two things--a short labor, if he is willing, and for a labor that starts around 5 am or later so I can start with a good nights rest. I don't know if he will answer my prayers with a yes, but asking can't hurt. I also want him to be tangibly present with me throughout this ordeal. I am praying he will make his glory known to me as I walk this pain with my husband. 

My next OB appointment is Thursday and will include my GBS test and a quick ultrasound to confirm she's head down! Excited to see her one last time before I get to hold her in my arms.

Week 35

Five more weeks (or less) left. We ordered a dresser for the baby things. We still don't have a name. Half my brain is being taken up with remembering my supplements. This is our last week of homeschooling. Brian will have to work late all week! I am trying to make the best of it and care for my mental health, remember to read my bible (and pray every day) and just rest when I need too. The kids are doing great  and Easter was delightful. 

Everything is coming together and I still have to push a human out of my body. I am praying and preparing for birth as much as I can. 

I can't believe I am doing this again. I hope I can make it though the next three weeks...the end of pregnancy is a slow crawl, not a sprint. At least for me. This is our last busy week and then I am going to slow everything down. I need to nest, clean, prepare and plan. I'm out of breath all the time and rolling over is laughable. 

I am feeling a lot healthier which is great. We cooked each and every meal last week. I'm still not waking up early and thats okay. 

I'm almost there! Only a few weeks and one labor and delivery to go. Only a few more weeks. It is so close I can taste it but also...I am remembering contractions, transition, and recovery. Here is to trusting the Lord and leaning deeply into surrender.