Musing over Hard Things

My husband has been working crazy hours at his job, which has been really stressful with deadlines, clients, programming issues...just to name a few things. He has been required to work some weekends straight though and as you can imagine this has not helped my marriage or home life situation or my husbands personal life...at all. It is getting to the point where I have asked him several times to please find a new job, which he does not want to do because he dislikes change (and he says this is just how engineering jobs go)...

I have typed so much about my husband working late, I probably don't need to talk about it anymore. And since he is salary he doesn't make any extra money when he works overtime (though a few times they have provided dinner for the crew). I finally set down and told him that I loved him, but nothing was getting done at home and I need my husband just as much as his job does. Actually I need him more but that is besides the point. He can't give everything to his job to the point he has nothing left over for me. At least this can't be a continual way of existing. 

Navigating home verses work life is difficult. Obviously I am super grateful for my husbands job that he usually enjoys when it isn't imploding with programming errors that he and his coworkers have to fix by very abrupt deadlines... 

What I REALLY don't like, however, is when his work begins to infringe on what I consider my claim on my husband. That time belongs to me and I don't want to share, thank you very much! He works so we can have a life together and if we aren't having that life together what is even the point?!

I am still very much exhausted and postpartum. I need my husband to hold this baby. None of us are doing very well with this.

We are trying tho. I am attempting to cook easy foods and be okay with fact my house is falling apart. I endeavor to prioritize time with Rueben and Becky over cleaning, but I also have to find balance. And I need time with my husband and we all need each other.

Sigh. I hope this ends soon. We still have all the wasps (though they are dead) and bats and house things to  clean and I have no idea when my husband will be able to get to them and I am certainly not able too.

I am however, eating a lot of chocolate. 

Reuben and Becky's Nature Journals

 Reubens (year 2) and Becky (preschool) nature journals! 

Nature walks are so fun. Do you do nature walks in your homeschool?

I started Keto again and other problems

Well, I wasn't able to stay off the keto diet but a week break was just what I needed. My blood sugar wasn't good and being postpartum as I am I didn't have the headspace to figure it out. I will wait until the baby is a bit bigger and I have more time to do this. My blood sugar was around 160 a few times after eating and that isn't good enough for me. I require under 120 to quit keto and it wasn't happening. Yes, I was disappointed. But it is okay! 

We have started third grade with Reuben (8) and Kindergarten with Becky (5). Esther is just there in the middle of it all wanting milk and being cute. I am completely breastfeeding now, no more pumping. It is like the end of a long nightmare and I don't even want to remember the first 9 weeks of Esther's life. I love her, she's perfect, it's not anything to do with her. It is all the things that happened and being scared I wasn't making enough milk and trying to feed everyone and cope with my husband's sudden anxiety and health issues that cropped up right after she was born. That was a long sentence. 

I've started trying to knit again and pick up a few of my hobbies--mainly violin. 

Husband has been working like crazy and it has been really hard. Then we found out this week we have bats AND hornets living in our house. 

I'm not making that up. We have a lot to fix this weekend and I feel quite overwhelmed.

I love Ambleside online for our school. It's life giving and we all are nourished spirally, mentally and emotionally as we read together. 

I need to figure out how to cook with an infant. And communicate better with my husband. And exercise. It's impossible! My house is a mess.