New Years

Today was our first full day back at school and it went so well.  I did math with Reuben, and we did all our scheduled Ambleside readings. I did not get to math with Becky because my mom came by to do the Barton Reading Program with her and we only do math on non-Barton days to keep it simple. She's doing so well with the Barton Reading Program even though I know it's such hard work. Dyslexia makes reading hard. I should know, I am also dyslexic. 

I bought these pompom sheets for Esther and she's loving them. Keeping Esther entertained during our school day is half the work! She's a busy toddler with tons of energy. We have play dough, these pom pom sheets, a "school only" play basket and various other distractions to throw at her during the day--it's a lot harder in winter because I can't just send her outside. I mean, I can, but even she doesn't last long (even in layers of clothes) in 32f temps without her fun big brother and sister to play with. 

Well, we made it through school and I made chocolate chip cookies for New Year's and they are so delicious! I can't believe the year is done and flown again and here we are staring 2026 in the face. I wonder what next year will bring? I really wanted to have a baby this year and I've been through all the emotions deciding that it wasn't going to happen, because it didn't happen. And realizing that my chronic illness is too severe to keep trying. I am placing that sadness in the hands of God and moving on with my three amazing blessings and new dreams will come, I am sure of it. 

While I did math with Reuben the girls made a "escape boat" and rescued all the stuffies. They played together nicely with a few interruptions but that's life. It's hard though when Reuben is in the middle of a timed math sheet and Becky rushes in with news of their impending doom on the high seas! I just had to smile through the shhhushing. 

The doll bonnet on Esther seals the deal. 

I make sandwiches on Wednesdays for lunch--and the kids got to pick from toasted cheese or PBJ. And I also made a side salad and hard boiled eggs. Esther ate like one bite of sandwich and one chocolate chip cookie but apparently that was enough for her all afternoon. Anyway, she took her hardboiled egg and made it into her baby, whom she named Mr. Eggy. Becky drew the face. Mr. Eggy had a short life of two hours before he was dropped and summarily consumed after three seconds of remorse. Being two is wild. 

We are doing well with the no-screen time until 6 or 7pm. I'm really proud of ourselves. I still want to work on reducing it. Screen time right before bed is not supposed to be healthy. We read more of Winter Holiday and did a lot of crochet. Reuben's glove is coming along amazingly. He made the entire glove by himself except I helped with the thumb gusset. 

It is amazing to see him grow and take off in ways that don't involve his mother. He can put away his own laundry, clean the bathroom, unload the dishwasher, and make simple meals all by himself (usually baking) and he does all his piano lessons by himself. He is always into something new and I'm glad he still wants to tell his mother about it. Reuben is such a gem, all my kids are. But as the eldest I get to see him grow up first!

I'm plinking away at two sweaters, both over half finished--and trying to doodle and get into watercolor painting, and keep up on reading all the books. I'm working through Harry Potter again with the new full cast audible recordings. They are so good! Highly recommend. Sometimes the volume in a few voices is irritating when they try to make people sound far away, but other than that I'm loving it. I just listened to Harry's first quidditch match and they had crowds of yelling and the sports announcer was just a whole vibe. It was very exciting, like listening to a real match!  

Tomorrow we have the day off school and I'm planning on resting, cleaning, and getting ready for Friday. Happy New Years! 

I'm down to nursing Esther only once a day, when she wakes up from her nap. We are so close to weaning. I'm so ready and she seems to be as well (there is no fussing when she asks to nurse and I say no. She happily accepts a glass of milk with a big pink straw in it or whatever juice or kombucha we have on hand!) but I am also sad because...she's probably my last baby and I worked so hard to nurse her after she was born with low tone and was unable to nurse for three months. I remember all those nights of pumping and feeding her with a syringe. What a journey! And a little bit of PTSD over how much weight she lost in the first 2 days before I figured out she wasn't nursing...oh, my mama heart! I'm so glad she's okay and I'm so glad I got to nurse her. God is good, even to this exhausted tired mama! 

January brings...me turning 39. Becky turning 8. Maybe some snow. Cognitive brain development for Reuben. Barton for Becky. Salads and chicken and a big azure order. A new governor for Virginia--democrat now instead of republican--and so many changes. I hope to meet them with my arms wide open and my eyes on heaven. God is good and he's made me for such a time as this.

A perfect day

Every so often God hands us a perfect day. It is always totally unexpected. Fragile like a newly crafted snowflake, it drifts down from the sky of motherhood to bless us with an icy kiss once in a blue moon.

Anyway, I was not expecting any perfect days today. The day we return to "normal" after a vacation is always hard. Daddy went back to work and I knew we would all be missing him while we picked up our routines. 

For example: this is what I was expecting. (Because this was similar to how the return to school from thanksgiving went.) 

So, yesterday I wisely decided not to start school on Monday, but to instead have a reset day. A screen-free reset day, because the amount of screen time we have on vacation is always obscene. Everyone spends 3-6 hours a day playing video games, watching movies, or staring at tiny reels on their phone with kids smooshed around them...it's bad. 

Yes, I realize we have a screen problem in our home, but it's only on vacation. And when we are sick. And sometimes weekends. I'm working on it. 

But regardless, I was expecting bad attitudes and chaos instead everyone has been playing nicely together! And it was in the 50s this morning and everyone went outside! And played together! After we got out our new game Throw Throw Burrito (I lost each time because I had to throw my burrito while holding a nursing Esther...) and we played Color Code and I read two chapters of our free read, Winter Holiday and we painted after lunch...a lunch that everyone happily ate. Reuben made some of his Christmas gift legos and Becky had a tiny tea party in her room with her new tea pot (I broke her old one. Yes, me. Accidentally. She cried. I felt terrible.) and Esther...well, Esther got into the doll stuff and destroyed a dolly book, but she's two and I should have known what was going on because of how quiet she was. 

Even perfect days have their bumps. We saved all the pages to staple back together. 

But, the great thing was that instead of Becky losing it and crying or yelling at Esther, she gently told Esther how it made her feel and helped me gather up all the pieces to assemble later. Such a big moment for my sensitive seven year old--and what kid likes their stuff destroyed? Little sisters should come with warning labels. I guess moms should too--poor teapot.

After Esther's nap the kids made a huge tent and played in it together as well. I read my bible and did my devotions and sat in happy contentment thanking God for such an amazing day. 

We've also done two loads of dishes and two of laundry and picked up the living room twice. I'm making tacos for dinner dreaming of some crochet after, if I can find a task to entertain the toddler. I just got my yarn in to finish up the granny square sweater that has been literally calling my name for months while I waited for funds to get the yarn I needed...since I was using stash yarn and making it up on the fly...anyway, I have new yellow yarn and the excitement is at peak capacity. I want to finish this thing so I can wear it! 

God is so good to me even when I don't deserve it. Thank you Lord for the good and the bad days! May I learn to roll with the imperfections, interruptions and my snarky inner dialogue...

I wonder what tomorrow will be like? 

I don't know what I'm doing half the time

Today was supposed to be great. I set my alarm so I could have time to clean the kitchen and get organized before the kids woke up but they woke up first and everything went wrong from there.

So I only have to laugh at myself. Life is not orderly. I can try as much as I can but one human against three with appliances that break, grocery lists that get forgotten and the amount of brain fog I have on a daily basis...why do I even get out of bed?

It's because I love this. Most of the time. 

I think sometimes my priorities are wrong.

Like today, at breakfast. I've been having a really hard time doing Esther's hair lately. She's been screaming and throwing tantrums any time I try. So, I've been doing her hair while she watches Bluey most of the time. 

Today it did not work. Full on tantrum over hair. This is after her hair cut her hair is shorter and less tangly so it takes less than one minute to brush it out. And I use a spray bottle with detangler in it. 

Anyway, she's crying, I'm holding and singing to her (after the hair brushing is done) and she is literally fighting me, but when I put her down she just runs and clings to my leg. I'm at the end of my rope. My other two kids are trying to eat breakfast while this is happening and husband is making coffee. I'm trying to communicate with my 2 year old and asking her to tell me what's wrong, but she's just screaming and fighting me and having inconsolable tears over her 45 seconds of hair brushing. I'm ready to cry myself and lock myself in my room and skip church and why is this happening? I don't understand. Does she understand? Hair needs to be brushed. I don't want to take her to church looking like a neglected urchin. I want to take her to church looking like a cute cherub. 

I'm telling her, while rocking her, that hair needs to be brushed and mama will try to be gentle and I'm trying to remain calm all while she's flailing around and screaming bloody murder...

Becky comes over. Becky tells me that Esther is crying because she just wants to do her hair by herself. I'm thinking Becky is crazy and this is not helpful. Becky gives Esther her 3-D printed egg to hold and suddenly Esther is fine. She goes to the table and starts brushing her own hair. She's happy. She says, mommy, I want to do it myself! 

So Becky was right and I do not understand my own child. And I'm sad because doing Esther's hair is one of my favorite things! But she wants to do it herself.

She currently has all the bows in her hair that we own.

All of this happened before 9am. 

Being two is hard.

Being 38 is hard too.

I'm eating chocolate before church and packing my favorite journaling pens, and praying that Esther won't run all the way up to the pulpit this Sunday. 

Christmas Craziness

We had a wonderful Christmas. 

Actually, it's been a crazy December--I did a parasite cleanse. I'm not sure if I had any parasites but I feel a lot better so...thats good? Health wise I have been feeling low energy but I just came off the cleanse the day before Christmas so maybe it takes awhile to bounce back.

What a year 2025 has been. I almost typed 2024. What is wrong with me.

Recently I made the kids yearbooks and looking back at all the memories was so fun. Becky turned 8, we had a terrible beach vacation, and we homeschooled a lot and I made a lot of sourdough. I cut my hair, had a car wreck (it wasn't my fault) and we survived having the stomach bug like 3 times. It was terrible. But not as terrible as Christmas of 2023 when Brian had covid for like 3 months... and thats just the big highlights I remember! There is 500 more things...like swimming all summer and Mountain Run Jam. Such good memories. 

Reuben is 10 this year and Esther 2. Such good ages. Brian turned 40 and I 38 but I say I'm 40 because I'm getting used to the idea...slowly. And 38 is basically 40 anyway. 

In January I turn 39! One more year of my 30s, and I'll start the 4th decade of my life in 2027 if I'm lucky and live that long. I expect too...but no one is promised tomorrow, so I won't count my chickens before they hatch.

I went and read my resolutions from last year and one was to find Reuben a good dentist. We did and he's loving it. I hope I have stretched his mouth enough and he can get his arch expander off in February...and then we move to Invisalign! 

But this post is about Christmas. It was great--it was just us this year. And we needed it. My Aunt was supposed to come but she had health troubles and car troubles and she wasn't able too and we all missed her so much! Becky especially. But it was a wonderful week even with the downside of missing some of our favorite people. My mother in law decided on the spur of the moment to go visit her sister in California and I think it was the best Christmas present she has ever given me.

We saw my mom and her husband the weekend after Christmas and got to see my niece as well and that was fun. My step dad made ribs and shrimp and homemade delicious bread...my kids and husband were thrilled. They ate so much they didn't even need a lunch! I made a lunch for myself as I was the only one hungry after! It was great to see them and catch up (even though I was having a bad health day that day and had no energy) and we got to play a card game and exchange gifts. Good memories with good people. Oh, and I made rice crispy treats to bring, and everyone loved those too. 

My mom being retired has really been such a special experience this year...she's been coming over, she's helping me so much and just being able to text her and knowing she's not stressed at school but that she has time to respond and have a relationship with me and the kids is awesome. Both Reuben and Becky have fallen in love with her and ask when she is coming over all the time! It feels good, like the beginning of something! I hope I can help her the way she helps me! And learn to respect her boundaries. Mom, you are a great person and I am so grateful you got to be my momma. I love you! 

Esther even loves grandma, in her own way. Being two is wild, does she even know what day it is? Hah. She's a tiny ball of energy until nap time hits and then it's...well, she's tired but her executive motor functions aren't working properly, so she's also cranky and hungry and she needs her mama. Mama knows how to put her to sleep and make everything all right. Mother's always do.

Becky made me these earrings all
by herself as a surprise!!

I am getting way off topic. Christmas! Stick to Christmas!!

On Christmas I made greek salad and homemade pretzels and they were so good and just what I wanted. 

All in all it was a great day. Becky got an American girl doll as her big present. She's been asking for one for two years. I was able to get it used on a Facebook group. I got Esther a used My Life doll so she could play with Becky with a similar sized doll since we couldn't afford two used American Girl dolls. The AG doll was $50, and the ML doll was $20 at a local consignment shop called Once Upon a Child. The girls are thrilled and I also got Becky a doll pattern and some fabric to sew her a dress! And I think this will help teach basic pattern rules to her too as we sew. 

I haven't done a budget update in a while. We are making it. We are barely making it. With Reuben's new piano classes (he's loving it!) and his upcoming Cognitive Brain Therapy (12 week course) its going to be tight. I'm making a large azure order this January and planning on skipping February and maybe March. We will make it to summer. I'm going to make it by God's grace, and if it looks tight I'll sell some of my linen clothing on postmark! I have enough, God is good, and I'm meeting my children's needs. Blessings upon blessings.

Becky named her doll Lina, and Esther named her doll Dolly. Brian has been calling her Dolly Parton but really, Esther is just two and, Dolly it is. We haven't even gotten to Dolly the cloned sheep yet, but those are the only Dolly's I know. 

Also, Esther got a hair cut. It's a kinda scary story but I'm laughing now. We were at the candlelight service on Christmas Eve and she leaned over the candle and her hair caught on fire! I blew it out immediately, but it melted a big chunk of it so when we went home I chopped it off. She was actually excited, she wanted short hair (she hates having her hair brushed, I don't know why I haven't thought of this before). I cut more off (she asked me too) today and now it looks like this! Anyway, she's reminding me of Becky who had a similar haircut around 4. 

As to why everyone wants ice-cream when it's 34 degrees outside, I will never understand. But they were happy campers--this was what, when asked, they wanted to do on our last day of vacation. 

Sweet memories. I'm cherishing all these things up in my heart and thanking God for my beautiful family.

This is also the second year I have been chatting (texting) with my biological Dad, Nathan, and that has been healing as well. He sent me a Christmas gift and gifts are my love language so it made me feel really special. I need to send him a thank you card or a new years card...I'm so busy...need to add it to my to-do list. It just makes me feel good to know my dad is happy and safe and doing well and enjoying life with his wife Linda and that we can chat now that he (and I) are more mature people. Thanks Dad, if you are reading this. It's nice to get to know you all over again.

Here is to next year. I'm ready, and excited, and...we need more bookshelves. 

What will I do with all the books when we are done with homeschooling? I could cry just thinking about it.

(Also, I have started posting on substack. I am posting the same posts as here, but if you would rather follow me over there, here is the link) 

Changes

Thanksgiving break, although full of sickness, was good.

Here is a picture of Becky playing hospital with Esther. Esther and the babies are sick and Becky was caring for them. It was so cute!

At the end of Thanksgiving break we went out to ice cream. It was freezing outside, but we did it. 

Reuben also had his first piano lesson this week! He's been asking for a while for lessons and we just haven't been able to add it in. Here we go! This is a pre-lesson photo.

At his lesson they have a nursery and the girls LOVED playing in the little playroom. Bonus points!

We have some big changes coming up. Besides reducing school a bit with the kids, we are quitting our Monday co-op. For the past few months we have been going to a Belle Ame co-op and it's been so fun. The co-op is expanding to an all day thing and I am just not up for that. The kids agreed, and we are happy to stop. It's good be on track as a family on at least one thing!

Reuben will be doing Cognitive Therapy starting next year. I am hoping it can help with his dyslexia and visual processing issues. Becky will be starting the Barton reading program for her dyslexia and will do cognitive therapy this coming May. It's a 12 week program and I am hopeful Reuben can get his done in 12 weeks and then we can start Becky who definitely needs it too--I just couldn't do both kids at once. The program is intense and I wanted to be able to focus on each one's needs individually instead of being pulled two ways at once... 

When will I sleep? I don't know. But I do think these things will help my kids. 

The Barton Reading specialist will come to our house. 

We are also seeing a homeopath for Becky. Here is to growth, healing and abiding in Christ in 2025. 

It was Never About Doing It All

The last 6 months I've been killing it in school. The baby is finally 2.5 and I felt I could ramp it up. We have been getting it all done. For the most part. I have been crossing it all off my list!

And I ruined it for my children. 

The last few months they have said things like "I hate school." They have begun rolling their eyes when I pull out the next subject and tears have been the normal instead of the bright smiling eager faces I am used to seeing. 

And I haven't been able to figure out why until lately. 

I love school. And I love getting Everything Done. I feel successful when I get everything done. But my children need to not be harassed by a to-do list. They need fun moments at the park (that I've cut out recently so we could get through school) and playdates and a fun mom who isn't stressed about getting through her list of things. A mom who at the end of the 2 hours doesn't need a break. 

The screen time in our homeschool has been through the roof lately. I've been handing out screen time so I can de-stress potato style on the couch for an hour because of all the school we have been doing! 

I realized I was ruining my kids school experience and slowly sucking the life out of the educational feast I wanted to feed them. Ugh, I hate being the problem.

But since I am the problem, I can change. We can still do so much and thrive. I don't have to do it all. It's not a competition.

I know now that my family needs to address some educational challenges that we are having, too. That is why we are starting the Barton Reading Program! And Cognitive Brain Development!  There are some missing pieces of the puzzle that need to be slotted in so that they can thrive instead of struggle. This is part of the issue, it wasn't only me. (Thank goodness.) 

But school doesn't have to be rigorous. I can make it fun. I can pare back. We can do math 3 times a week, cramming 5 in there just so I can feel we are on track and fulfilled is dumb if it's frustrating and hindering my children. We can take a break from phonics, we can do 2-3 written narrations a week instead of 5. I can add in all the fun things I cut out like bike rides and hikes, even if it's cold outside. 

It's funny how trying to do the right thing for all the wrong reasons doesn't work... 

I'm so glad I serve an amazing God who is full of mercy and forgiveness and new starts. Monday will look very different around here! 

A Humble Thanksgiving

This is the first Thanksgiving in a long time that I haven't felt stressed and anxious. It was oh so wonderful! Yes, we were sick. That part wasn't fun. We started getting sick last week as a family and it ran through all of us, starting with Esther last Monday, then Reuben, then Becky. I was like good, we will get the illness over this week and have a smooth vacation next week. By the weekend I thought it might be over but, lo and behold, I started to fall ill Wednesday morning (the 26th) cumulating with Husband today, Thanksgiving. Poor husband! It is a sore-throat sinus-fever thing, about 2-3 days duration. For me the first day was the worst. 

Yesterday I rested and threw everything I could at it. Lots of homeopathy, fire cider, garlic and tea.

Today I felt well enough to cook but not well enough for guests. Especially with Brian on day 1, and basically in bed. 

But we made it through and now everyone has had the cold and turkey was also enjoyed.

Early in the week Brian and I went Christmas shopping. We got almost all the gifts and I am so excited. The kids are going to be thrilled. I'm very excited about Christmas. 

Tomorrow I have no plans. I really don't leave my home on Black Friday. I mean, I did once or twice and was underwhelmed. I don't like crowds, I don't like stress and I don't like fake discounts. Really, I checked amazon with some things I had saved and the prices went UP when they announced the sale over there. I think it's a scam. Maybe some things lower in price but everyone is trying to get as much money as possible while making you think you are getting a deal. 

Esther had the best time after Thanksgiving lunch by letting me crochet for an hour while I watched her cute nap on the couch. Doesn't she look so much like Becky here? 

Everyone is still recovering. Becky is the only completely well one. Esther has a cough, Daddy is in the throes of it, I have low energy and a little stuffy nose and I had a cough this morning, I wonder if it will come back tonight. Reuben also has some bronchial stuff going on. Hopefully we can nip this in the bud over the weekend because we have some packed weeks ahead until Christmas! 

God is so good. I felt so much peace and love this Thanksgiving. 

Because we were sick, none of our relatives could visit. My mom and my step dad actually dropped off the food they planned to leave for us on the porch so we got to enjoy their chocolate cake, handmade rolls and cranberry they prepared. It was so good!  I missed them though. They hope to come over this weekend  if they don't catch the sickness from us (we saw them earlier this week before we were sick). 

What a crazy daisy wonderful Thanksgiving. 

I ordered the Barton Reading Program. It was expensive but I think it is what I will try next to address the learning issues we are seeing in our homeschool. I hope it works. I"m excited to try it. I hope it will help Reuben learn spelling and Becky learn to read and spell, and me...me too. I am also dyslexic. Maybe I too can learn how to spell things correctly and read better. I mean, I can read, but sounding out unfamiliar words I do guess, which is a dyslexic trait.

We also decided to do cognitive brain development and are on the waiting list with a local tutor, with a potential start date of May. So much going on! So many good things. 

Seasonal Changes

Well, the United States Government is open again, after the longest shutdown ever...but the bill that was passed only funds through January so we will see what happens next...this is going to be interesting. 

Does anyone else think Trump is acting really really weird? First he didn't release the Epstein files after that was one of the things he promised transparency on...second, he straight up dissed Americans saying we need H1B visas because we just don't have talent here...uhhhh what? I quite agreed with Brett Cooper's podcast thoughts about this. 

Is Trump being blackmailed? Because he sure is acting weird. And NO we do NOT NEED 50 year mortgages. Thats another terrible idea, Trump. Please put Dave Ramsey in charge of the budget. Seriously. 

I will be honest, as a fully homeschooling, cooking from scratch mama of three with a full time job, I mean, chronic illness (hah) I rarely have time to pay attention to politics with the two brain cells I have left at an end of the long day, but sometimes things seep through. I wish I had more time because as I age I find I care and also my BS meter waaayy shorter. I went from "pulling a republican lever" in my 20s to begrudgingly voting republican while internally angry about how corrupt democrats and republicans are. Where are all the good men? Oh, they are working hard for their families, aren't they, not manipulating budgets and dabbling in power plays. I know there are some good guys out there in politics but it seems like for every two there are thirty dirty players. 

Who has time for politics when I can watch my baby sleep? Cuteness over stress, definitely recommend. 

I was not impacted from the shutdown. 

My sister lost her food stamps for two weeks.

My mom brought her food.

Anyway, we did school today and made it a lite day because it's Friday and mama is tired. Reuben starts 5th grade next week! How crazy. He's growing up so fast. Becky is on Year 2, Term 2 starting next week and Esther is alternating between crying and playing with play dough and getting into All The Things while I read. 

I made homemade donuts and have been cleaning and organizing all morning. I am decluttering because Christmas. Actually, when am I not decluttering? I really need to get rid of way more stuff.

Life is good. If only I wasn't chronically ill. 

Life can be good with a chronic illness, God is good...I know, but this is hard. I have had times where my chronic illness was in remission for a little bit, even long stretches and it's so much nicer. Maybe one day I will get there again.

Anyway, two weeks ago when I was getting colonics, I found out one of the names for whatever it is I deal with. I already know I struggle with type two diabetes, but now I know I have IBS-C. Apparently something called a low fodmap diet helps. I don't know if I can do another diet. We will see. I also have dyslexia and that isn't a chronic illness, it does make daily life interesting sometimes! 

I'm a walking conundrum. My other issues are I get heart palpitations and I have blood clots sometimes. I also feel tired all the time but that can be from the IBS-C I have read. 

There is no cure for IBS. It's a good thing I was made by a God is works miracles. 

How are you all? 

What's Next?

The USA government still doesn't have a federal budget. People have stopped rolling their eyes and frankly...we are embarrassed. Congress is supposed to pass the budget and they can't. Well, they have tried. They can't agree. I think, obviously, that they need remedial counseling. Like marriage counseling. Trump and Congress can attend and they should be made to keep attending until they reach an agreement, 

Sssheeesssh.

October wore me out. I have been having severe chronic issues and I finally reached out to my naturopath and she recommended a colonic. Which I vehemently denied. No thanks, not me. I don't need it.

I had my first one last week, and two others in the next coming days are scheduled and... it is not fun. I am not thrilled. 

I hope it works. I pray it works. I don't know if there are any other options after this. 

Maybe I should try a bone broth cleanse for a week? Will that help reset my colon and get everything working properly? Should I try a low fodmap diet? The Gaps diet (again? I did it once a few years ago...) I really don't know where to go from here. I would appreciate prayers as I figure it all out.

On top of my annoying health issues I have been dealing with a host of educational difficulties. It has come to my attention that both my (oldest) kids have varying levels of dyslexia and I Need Help navigating this and figuring out how to best teach them to read. Reuben is 10 and reading on a third grade reading level. He does not like reading and gets tired quickly and...just like me, when he sees an unfamiliar word, he guesses. Becky is learning how to read and struggling so much. I am trying to find help. I tried to meet with two local barton reading specialists and they both canceled on me and have not texted me back. I think they have too many clients already! And kind hearts that want to help people but poor boundaries. Our piano teacher told us about this cognitive brain development thing that we decided not to do because it's just too expensive and too much work (an hour a day) I don't think I can do that with the health issues I am going through right now. 

My kids are great and so intelligent and seeing them struggling is hard! I just don't know what next step to take. Barton? Another program? Nothing? Wait? Ugh. I feel like I'm in limbo. We did buy Becky these dyslexia workbooks that just arrived yesterday and she started on them today. I hope she likes them! They help dyslexia through art, which Becky loves art. Maybe that will be all she needs.

Esther is also in the throes of the terrible twos. I love my little baby girl so much. She's also so smart! And wonderful! This is just a stage, but right now on top of everything else, it's been a bit much. Teaching a currious two year old the slow processes of emotional regulation is not for the faint of heart. God is teaching me so much as I parent her. Because, adults throw tantrums too. Just ask my Heavenly Father. He knows! 

Our van is fixed! Brian installed a new-to-us door from the local pick and save and I'm back driving it. Which is great because the van has heat (but no air con) and the other car we have has air con (but no heat) so now we have something for each kind of weather. Hah.

Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner. How have we arrived here so quickly? God has been so good to our family and I am so grateful to all this year and brought us. It didn't bring me the much desired baby, but thats okay. God knows what I need, and my family is beautiful, even without babies and healing.

It didn't bring us a new house, because they are all expensive. We have not been able to work on any of the renovations I want to do to our current house, because we have all been doing the best we can just to get through our day.

But, this year did bring me...more time with my mom. I'm so glad she's retired now and she usually visits once a week. It's been life changing to have her here and the kids have absolutely grown to adore her. 

I've done yoga at least twice a week this year, when I haven't been sick. I've homeschooled my two beautiful school-aged kids. I've adored my cute, bumbling crazy toddler. I've done the dishes twice a day. I've done 600 loads of laundry. That's how it feels, anyway. 

I've watched Totoro at least 18 times. And it's still my favorite movie. 

It has been a good year, and I look forward to the next one.

Brian already told me our medical insurance will go up significantly...so it should be an interesting year. I feel that price increases are coming across the board. Hopefully I will feel well enough to garden this spring! 

Meandering Thoughts around the Internet

I feel like the western world is quietly burning to death while I sit here and eat chocolate covered almonds. I don't know if its nearing 40, coming out of "the baby years" again or that I'm just paying more attention to the news, but does anyone else think the world is going crazy? I am shocked every time I load a webpage. The federal government is still shut down (no one really cares...) ICE is arresting everyone, Charlie Kirk was murdered, there was a mass shooting in NC, an NBA gambling scandal and everywhere I look everyone's text messages and tweets are being used against them.

Is this what we have to look forward too? I mean, great-grandma's letters were something to blush at, but now I have 602 Facebook posts and 7,000 text messages that some forward-thinker in 3062 is going to publish when they write their book on 2020. May it never be. 

We already love to read old letters from the 1900s. Yes, I'm talking about you. And me. Realize right now that someone in a self driving, possibly flying car is going to get all nostalgic about your Facebook posts you wrote when you were drunk and 17... and judge an entire era by it. 

Look, I deleted my Facebook but I bet if I hadn't I also would blush from the mere stupidity of things I posted in 2011. Has anyone forgotten that people grow? I don't get how people brandish tweets from 15 years ago like it's a smoking gun. People change. Or maybe we all need a PR company to manage our social media empires now. I bet Blake Lively is regretting many things when she wakes up in the morning. Because all this stuff exists forever. I can't imagine how many books there will be 600 years from now deconstructing our era from television shows, tweets, blogs, Facebook posts and news articles. I hope they don't read Reddit or craigslist. Or, worse. What if all that survives is Reddit and craigslist?

Be careful what you share online guys. The government is watching. Jay Jones is also learning this lesson. Virginia is in hot water right now, right on the cusp of an election and the democrats are ahead! Abigail Spanburger is running on the Liberal ticket and she promises to reform Virginia by bringing all levels of abortion back. She is also for raising taxes and instituting gun laws. She also wants to reform homeschooling. 

In VA right now you can only have an abortion up to 26 weeks, apparently that is just not enough time? I'm not a democrat and the thought of this lady being voted in gives me mental hives. Oh well. I firmly believe that it is one's citizens that make the nation. I try not to blame public figures or those holding political seats for every social faux pas or problem. Every person makes this nation either better or worse and I hope to raise kids that contribute to the good of society by spreading truth, goodness, and beauty. And I know I can do that in a state where the governor is either democrat or republican. 

It's our country, after all, so we have only ourselves to blame for the deplorable state it is in.

But I really don't need any more home-school paperwork. I'm tired enough. I hope she doesn't win. It would make my life easier. 

But perhaps that isn't the point.

Anyway, I digress. The internet is a scary and overwhelming place at times, and I am not even someone who checks the news daily. But here I am sharing my diary on the internet. I mean, I'm not a public figure, just a tired homeschooling mom but sometimes even I have doubts. And there are many things I do not share. Not because of the government, but mainly because some things are just too personal. 

I would love to talk about the following topics because I have many thoughts to share, but I haven't. I'd love to talk about my friend who I miss. I'd love to talk about my sex life. And my mother in law. And my sister. And share about my struggles with _________. But I know all that isn't important and what is important is that I keep looking forward and keeping my eyes on God and celebrating the wins in life. Everyone has contention. I have amazing kids...a house, a husband who loves me. I am breathing and God has given me this day. This is enough! 

One day this blog will fall silent and while I hope my kids will write, all of it will be left behind as I go where God calls me. 

And that is what I think on when I'm falling asleep with the dishes not all the way done and two piles of laundry to put away and realizing I forgot to brush the baby's hair. God is all around and in between, especially when I'm not enough. And I'm never enough. 

And that's enough philosophy for today. I'm going to read more about Emma M. Lion and eat another handful of chocolate almonds. 

Budget October 12 - 25th

This week we had two weird additions to our budget besides my husband's salary. We had a virginia tax rebate fund of $400 and also the insurance payout on our van that was declared totaled from my wreck last month. Poor van. We decided to retain ownership of the car and are hopeful to fix it ourselves. I put the tax rebate into our Christmas Fund. After subtracting what we owed from last week (-$151) then adding the insurance payout, our weekly income came to 2,816.5 a week which is a lot more than we usually have for our budget. I was excited...until we used most of the money to completely pay off our credit card bill. Which was needed, but still kinda a bummer. We are now debt free! I hope we can stay that way! 

Week 1: $2816.5

• November Milk Payment $140
• Credit Card Payment $1,219.5
• Emergency Savings $350
• iCloud $3
• Tithe
• Back Door for the Van from Pick and Save $149
• Home Depot Shower head $60
• Cell Phone $26
• Poshmark $ 282
• Walmart $117
• Gas $29
• Cash Withdrawal $160
• Movie Rental $4
• Gas $40
• Kroger $90

This left $68 in the budget for this week. 

What did I buy from postmark? I got Esther and Becky and Reuben winter coats. Esther also received a pair of pants and a sweater. Reuben got a sweater. The kids needed some winter things--Reuben outgrew his coat from last year. He's 10 and wearing a size 14. He's so tall! Esther also outgrew her last years coat. Last year she was a 1 year old wearing a size 2 and now she's 2 wearing a size 4. My kids are tall! 

I also got myself a new dress and two sweaters (one, two) and an amazing new purse. I'm wearing that dress right now...

Our shower head broke in the downstairs shower and husband replaced it from home depot. The cash, 100 went into my wallet and 60 into my husband's. I spent most of my cash at Taproots, and a little bit of it on ice cream for the kids after football practice. 

Week 2: $2816.5

• Hot Yoga $95
• Electric Bill $200
• Audible $23
• Water Bill $66
• Piano Savings Fund $100
• Credit Card Payment $1,219.5
• Tithe
• Poshmark $224
• Movie $20
• Books $75
• Math $19
• Dyslexia workbooks $200
• Chipotle $40
• Walmart $140
• Krogers $60
• Taproots $139
• Starbucks $18

That left $226 in the budget. 

Running Fund Totals:

1. Christmas Fund: $530.24
2. Emergency Fund: $584
3. Piano Savings Fund: $100
4. Leftover in Budget: $68 from first week and $226 from second week

Onwards and upwards to next week, a new budget starts today and it's always exciting. 

Life Lately

I thrived with how much I had time to write this past spring and summer. And I promised myself I would return to these blank pages for my own emotional well-being, but alas homeschooling, housecleaning, child-rearing, marriage and family quickly took over from the lull that was our summer. Oh, what an amazing summer we had. We swam so much! We enjoyed a lot of reading time! And we all rested a lot. 

School has been underway for many weeks now--Becky has three weeks left of term 1 of year 2. It's going by so fast. Reuben has 4 weeks left of term 3, year 4. He will be in year 5 so soon! He's growing up to quickly! 

I feel like all chaos from traveling has washed away and we are all back to our normal routine. Esther had a little cold and now she's on the mend and Becky has the cold. Hopefully Reuben will stay well, he has football tomorrow! 

I have two sweaters about 50% of the way done. Both crochet sweaters! 

I've been watercoloring flowers. I'm terrible at it but it is so relaxing and fun. 

I've pulled out all the fall and winter clothes. It is cold. I am wearing wool and it is bliss. Becky's coat for last year fit her but Reuben needed a new one. I hope he likes it! Esther got a wool cape. I'm obsessed and will take a picture of her in it as soon as it gets a little colder. 

Our house needs decluttering (as always) and I have no idea what is for dinner! Oh, I need to pull out pizza crusts for tomorrow, I want sourdough pizza before Becky and Reuben eat all my pepperoni as snacks. 

I am feeling really good health-wise. I have energy most days to get through tasks and I'm enjoying myself. God be praised. I am sure I will trend downhill somehow, someway...I always do. But for now I am counting my blessings and enjoy a bit of normal health...though I am still taking a lot of supplements and enemas and juggling diabetes, it feels nice to be in a good place. 

Also, I found out I can eat wild rice and sweet potatoes. Yay! Still can't eat white rice or brown (blood sugar too high) or white potatoes for the same reason. But wild rice is really yummy...

Oh, I just forgot I made beans in the instant pot this morning and forgot to get them out! That will be next on my list.

How are you all?

Budget Sep 28th - October 11th

all the yarn I got at hobby lobby for my crochet class!

Alright, so last week we had $130.24 leftover from our previous budget which is great. I promptly started a Christmas fund with this money. 

Week 1: $1,217

• Credit Card Payment $300
• Trash Collection Bill $29
• Pandora Subscription $13
• Raw Milk Monthly Pay 142.50 (1 gal milk, 1/2 lb butter per week)
• Maggie Organics Leggings for Mama $69
• Emergency Savings Fund $150
• DLC Switch For Reuben $20
• Krogers $205
• Gas $28
• Hobby Lobby $100 (yarn for crochet class / paper for sloyd class)
• Family Ice Cream Out $30
• New Shoes for Brian $80

Conclusion: $3 leftover from budget. 

Week 2: $1,417

• Credit Card Payment $300
• Internet Bill $20
• Azure Order: $663 
• Tithe
• Fun Money Cash Withdrawal $100
• Nintendo Giftcard for Reuben so he can pick his own games $50
• Walmart $280
• Gas $48
• Taproots $57 (two homeopathic remedies, floss, a .75¢ pop for Esther)

Here is what I ordered from Azure in case you are interested. Einkorn Pasta, Raw Cheese, Bubbies Pickles, Fruit Pops (a must have for Esther during meltdowns when I am trying to do school) Dark Chocolate Cups, Peppermint Cups, Truffles, Coconut Almonds, Cinnamon Wheat Bagels, Whole Wheat Bagels, Carob Cups, Chocolate Chips, Greek Yogurt, Frozen Strawberries, Olive Oil, Butter. All in all I will pick up 9 cases weighing 87 pounds. 

This budget has 200 extra dollars in it because that is what I earned from teaching classes at Mountain Run Jam! 

If you added all that up that left us at a -151 dollars for this week. Oops. So, that will have to come out of next weeks budget!

Running Fund Totals:

1. Christmas Fund: $130.24
2. Emergency Fund: $434.12

See you all next week for the next budget...I just started on it today and it's CRAZY. 

Mountain Run Jam, The holistic retreat I needed

This past weekend was Mountain Run Jam, a holistic retreat in Sedalia, VA, about a thirty minute drive from my home in Bedford.  Oh my goodness guys it was epic. It was relaxing and amazing and I'm living on a high this Monday with all the memories and fun teaming around in my head. 

It started Friday. I took the elder two children, because I signed up to teach a Paper Sloyd class for kids and I knew I couldn't very well do that with a toddler in tow. Brian had an Esther day and he also made dinner (BLTS). By the way, when I got home and asked Esther what she had done, she said she had gone to the Liberty Tower with Daddy and climbed it and then at the top had nursies. Neither of which happened. Being two is wild. 

It was a beautiful summer day and I wore my favorite green linen dress with my half finished crochet sweater--it's basically a vest and I wanted so much to finish it to wear at the Jam, but hey--I did. Vest it is! And it was too hot for a sweater today anyway. I will add arms later. Maybe. I'm still debating. 

Friday I taught paper sloyd, then we just attended the fun classes, ate some good snacks and talked to a lot of people and listened to great music. It was divine. Saturday I knew I wanted to do the Indigo dye class and Becky wanted to do the flower crown class--so we had to be there at 9. I woke up and packed all the lunches and snacks I thought we would need and we piled in the car for a second time, all excited and giddy to get to Mountain Run Jam. This time I brought Becky and Esther, and we just did fun kid things. I tried to attend a herb heart class however Esther was not having it. She did not want to sit still. I did learn a few things before abandoning ship and taking Esther to a more kid-friendly area. 

the fairy house class was a favorite for Becky

Oh, it was amazing even with the toddler interruptions. I heard some of the best music from a new local band called Holy River. I need their CD. I've been listening to my favorites on repeat all day today. Bliss! We went back Sunday and just soaked it all up. Becky took the cutest little fairy class, and both the kids did wild clay shaping where they made the clay out of dirt and I just can't sum it up in words. It was healing. It was magical. It was SO much better than camping. We made wild foraged baskets too. Well, I made half a basket and Becky finished it. Basket making is no joke. 

I also taught a crochet class on Sunday. 

I took so many classes, met so many amazing people and soaked up so much sun and dirt and peace that I know it's a weekend I'll never forget.

I'm so thankful to my husband who made dinner every night so I could attend this amazing event, who watched Esther the first day and took Reuben to his football game Saturday (they had a wonderful men's day). It was so fun. Reuben was in and out of the woods and basically free-ranging it so I don't have many pictures of him. Becky stayed with me and we took turns picking classes. 

I really hope they do it again next year. 

This was my second year going to MRJ and I tried to find if I had made a post last year, but I couldn't find anything. I only made 3 posts in October of 2024, and I didn't mention the Jam at all? I had a ton of fun last year and that's why I decided to go again this year...well, maybe I was too busy with one year old Esther to find time to post. 

And that was my weekend. Peace, Joy, and Goodness.

Our school schedule resumes tomorrow!

The Worst Vacation Ever

Last week we were at the beach and it was beautiful. Becky hasn't been to the Beach since she was one. And Reuben was 3. I have been chronically ill, pregnant, and/or chronically ill and pregnant so traveling was on the low end of the list. If I even had a list. But it's been so long that this is my life--and I need to learn to live with it, and both my husband and kids and I wanted to try again.

Except I told my husband, no camping. I'm so over camping and sleeping in a tent and having to walk to the bathrooms and I need a stove because of said chronic illness. He talked to a friend at church who goes frequently to Carolina Beach and so he decided we should go there! Great, that's awesome, we booked our trip a few months ago. He told me he booked a cabin and it should all be fine. I didn't ask many questions about it...which was a mistake. A definite mistake. 

About three weeks before the trip I was rear ended...now we had no van to drive to vacation. I didn't think much of it, we have a Lincon Town car that was broken but my husband was adamant we could fix it. He worked on that car every weekend non stop and even after work and then a week before the trip we got it inspected. 

It failed. 

My husband spending every spare moment of his time working on our vehicle wore both of us out emotionally and physically. And now all the work was...for nothing! Our car failed inspection. We couldn't drive it. 

I thought of the past two weeks as he was working on the car... and I was stuck with the kids. Through all  the weekends when I usually can have a break. It was really hard. I begged him to get someone else to fix it. He seemed not to understand, here he was doing everything he could to get this car fixed for our vacation but I was crying from exhaustion and starting to resent him. 

Having a chronic illness is not pretty. I really do need and count on breaks. I wish I was supermom, I wish it wasn't true, but wishes won't part the fog in my brain and give energy to my broken body. 

Now, when I thought everything was finished and the car just needed to be inspected here we were with a whole other list of things to fix and one week until vacation. I was starting to panic a little. 

It needed one new tire, something called "tie irons" and two breaks replaced. I was thinking we would have to rent a car (husband said absolutely not something else I couldn't understand, didn't he want to go on vacation? How did he think we would get there?) That week, he worked on the car every night after work and a day before we were to leave for vacation we brought it back in to be inspected and it passed! Thank goodness. And God. Actually just thank God. 

As a family of 5, fitting in a Lincoln town car is tight. Especially with Esther's car seat. Anyway, I wanted to say...this is how our vacation started. With one mom, a physically and mentally exhausted mess of a mom, who had not had time to clean and order her house before packing or plan any extra meals because I had lost my support, my husband--who was out working on the car so we could go on vacation. I know, the irony. Let's all laugh together. And one exhausted husband who had also had no downtime due to work in the office and work underneath and above the car. Poor husband. 

Oh, and it gets worse.

Okay, so vacation. Yay! How do I throw out all the anger I have accumulated over the last three weeks? I'm wresting with it and dealing with it and here we are and we must be a happy family, because beach and vacation and kids.

We've missed like three weeks of church so we decide to leave after Sunday school so we can at least have some normalcy back in our weekend. The car is packed. I'm sure I've forgotten 12 things, but I have all three of my kids, so that's good. 

It is at this point that I have come to the realization that I don't think my husband understands me. When he had first asked me about the vacation I had told him I had a four hour driving limit for our first vacation. That was what I was comfortable with. The day of he finally looks up the directions and says it's 4 hours and 50 minutes away. This made me really upset because I told him 4 hours was my time cap. Meaning, I didn't want to do anything that was more than 4 hours away. But, whatever. He was estimating. He doesn't understand chronic illness and the amazing thing I am asking my body to do--go away from my comfortable home and live somewhere else without many of the supplements that keep me alive. I took what I could, but how was I to know what I might need? 

Husband does not understand why I am upset. Which makes me more upset. We've been married for 13 years and does he not pay attention? 

Anyway, it's too late now. 5-6 hours it is, because with three kids we will need to stop at least twice. 

Driving there is okay. We stop for fast food for lunch which I can't eat, but that's okay, I packed snacks. Not a big deal. We pass two wrecks on the way (everyone was fine) but that was scary. I prayed a lot we would make it safely. Esther sleeps for about an hour, and screams for another hour. I finally played a movie on my phone for her, which I never have done in the car before. 

We get there only to find we are camping in a cabin (not a tent, remarks the husband, you said no tents!) and the bathroom is about a 5 minute walk and there is no kitchen and I hate it. Husband does not understand why I hate it. I thought I told you no camping? But this is not camping! This is a cabin! I drop it because...I can't change it and the kids and vacation and family time, right? I'll just simmer in anger against him, because of course that is what I know how to do. 

The beds are like rocks, there is a concrete floor and two bunkbeds that Esther keeps trying to climb, my anxiety it through the roof trying to keep her off it, and...did I mention I hate it? I did say no tents. But what I meant was no camping! This is camping! I don't want to camp. I need a toilet that is just ours! I don't want to share! 

I don't know about you, but when I go on vacation I don't want to make my life harder. I want to make things easier so I can enjoy myself, have less stress and be free from life. I don't want to walk 5 minutes to a public bathroom with my kids 3 times an hour. I don't know how he didn't understand me. Okay, yes I do. He heard, no tent. And clearly this was not a tent. It has air conditioning. Paradise on earth? And my husband usually tries to pinch pennies, which is fine, but on vacation I'm totally of the mind to spend a little more for comfort. And I was 100% not comfortable. 

I think my husband's idea of vacation is not the same as my idea of vacation, but I digress.  

We find out you can't walk to the beach. It was about a 8-10 minute drive to the beach. Which is fine, but we had to pay $25 to park each time we went. So we spent $75 on parking and I don't think my husband thought of that. A beachside hotel has parking (generally they do charge a little for it sometimes but I'm sure not near $75...and that included a bit of a walk to the actual beach.) We have a toddler...a beach bag, two kids, and...it was not fun hauling everything to and fro. My car is still full of sand! But, here we are. The beach. And it is beautiful. 

The next day I had chronic pain all day. I have not had chronic pain in a long time, and did I bring any of my chronic pain stuff? I did not. I texted my friend Emily to pray and the next day...it was so much better. Which never happens (usually it takes 1-2 weeks, and I alternate heat and ice on my neck/back) so it was amazing that it was subdued pain for the second day. God is good, and he blessed me with an answer to these prayers...I am so grateful for his mercy. 

My kids have already eaten ice cream and donuts and who knows what else but they are thriving. It was nice to see them happy and having fun. That was the best thing about our vacation.

We found somewhere I could eat which was wonderful. I got a deconstructed sandwich and sweet potato fries! Here are my windswept children and Reuben wearing my coat because he was cold. Everyone enjoyed that meal. Carolina Beach has a little boardwalk that is cute and quaint and full of small businesses. I loved it. Next time, if we go back, we will stay at a hotel on the beach and I think I will be happy.  

We also went to the Aquarium there which was really cute.

The next day was our drive home day, and I will spare you most of the details but I had the worst case of vertigo I have ever had in my living memory. After about half an hour of not being able to even stand up, I told my husband we had to go to the ER. Something was wrong. I am not okay. 

Anyway, we ended up sitting in a Chick-fil-a parking lot for an hour while I slowly got better. I had mild vertigo for the following four days. I don't know what it was--my husband thinks maybe dehydration mixed with low blood pressure--and I hope I never get it again. It was not fun. I really thought I was dying. I couldn't even open my eyes, everything was spinning. 

Someone at church told me it could be related to my ears and gave me some exercises to do. Maybe they will help? I'll try anything, honestly at this point. 

 But on the way home, all I wanted was coffee. Guys, we could not find any coffee. We tried one place, but it was a restaurant, not a coffee shop. It had coffee in the name. But was a sit down place, you couldn't order a cup. We drove another hour, tried another place but it was a coffee roastery! As in, they roasted coffee and did not serve it. By that point everyone had to use the bathroom so we started looking for that and abandoned the coffee idea. We needed up at a public library to use the bathroom after trying 3 more places to find a bathroom but they did not have any bathrooms for customers, only an employee bathroom. It was crazy. We had to park in a parking garage to get to the public library and...I was so happy to get home.  That took and extra hour. All in all, it took 7 hours to get home...

...to mountains of laundry and wired kids and a husband who went straight back to work the next day. 

Next time, I am going to plan the vacation, and it will include a hotel with a kitchen and a bathroom, for sure.

I didn't even get a single picture of me on vacation with the kids, which makes me sad. I was so sick the entire time I was just trying to hang on and have a good time for them...I wish I had a beach picture with me in it for our yearbook. 

The kids pictures turned out beautiful. They make me so happy and that, and God's goodness, is what keeps me going. 

I met my first Karen....

I don't want a house full of books or the latest kitchen gadgets or a new car or...a Stanley cup. I don't care about Stanley cups. Or labubu dolls, whatever in the world those things are. 

I want a closet full of wool sweaters. Does anyone else ever type in "wool sweater" in postmark and drool over the selection? I want this one. This holiday themed one screams berry pie and snowy thanksgiving. This one looks absolutely decedent and luscious but why is it over $100?  Actually, I am shocked that I can find 100% alpaca or merino sweaters for under $40 sometimes. Do people not know what they are selling?

Alas, I am not made of money so I limit myself to one new sweater a year. After a lot of searching and checking my closet, I bought this one because I don't have many basics and I don't have anything in black and white. And the seller claims they couldn't find it and refunded me, and now I have to start my search all over again...oh well. I'm thinking of going with brown and buying something in alpaca for this fall. Zip and/or buttons seem to be my friend since I am still nursing Esther.

Anyway, today Esther fell off the trampoline backwards onto her head and I don't even know why I let her up there. She's fine, I think. I have her watching Ponyo downstairs with a cold pack on her neck after checking her all over and giving her her nursies. It was on the tip of her head but she told me her neck hurts too. Poor kid. We do have a net on the trampoline, but the part you zip up is broken and...she just fell right off. I'm going to see about getting the zipper fixed.

By the way, she's been getting on the trampoline since she was one. This is the first time she's gotten hurt. And I feel so responsible she's definitely too little to be on it, but she wants so much to be with her big brother and sister so much! 

School went well today. We got everything done except Shakespeare. Maybe I will read it at dinner. Probably not. Oh, and we were supposed to paint today but I can always do that tomorrow. 

I ate cake and didn't check my blood sugar, shhhhhh don't tell. It was handmade Angel Food cake and I did half the sugar but......

Nothing much is happening right now in our lives. I am almost all the way recovered neck-wise from my accident, my brain is catching up...still a bit slow mentally. We will hear if our car was totaled or not on Wednesday. The person who hit me does have insurance and they accepted liability...so all the paperwork is squared away and we are just waiting for the results.

Brian spent all weekend working on our spare car, the old one, so I will have something to drive this week, and we can go on vacation at the end of the month to the beach. Only this car does not have heat and that was one of the reasons we got the van--and also the seating issues, three kids in the back is a bit tough with their ages. Brian test drove our spare car to work today and everything looks fine! It will be nice to have a reliable vehicle tomorrow if nothing pops up between now and when he gets home...I can't believe he worked so hard. I made him ham, mashed potatoes and veggies (one of his favorite meals) to thank him tonight for dinner. We all have our arguments and struggles but I know at the end of the day I have a husband who loves and respects me and shows up for his family, and I am so grateful. I hope he knows how much I love him.

The new part for the car was $300. We put it on the credit card...

Anyway, I met my first Karen over the weekend. I was putting a screaming Esther into my car (I made her hold my hand in the parking lot, how dare me) and this lady in the car next to me started yelling that my car door hit her car and scratched it and it's a brand new car. I calmly looked at her and told her that her car was fine and it was--we both looked--but she was not having it. She was screaming at me and Esther was screaming and Becky started crying and I think some of Karen-Lady's kids were in her car and I didn't know what to do...it was crazy. I did not hit her car with my door! It was a whole crazy episode and I hope Karen-Lady's husband talks some sense into her. She must have been having a bad day. 

And her car was very dirty. 

Eyeroll.

I had to come home and make lunch after that and let me tell you there was some praying and some loud music for awhile!

Some people need more sleep, and less coffee...that's all I'll say.

Excited about Mountain Run Jam! And beach trip! And school, and thanksgiving and Christmas and all the cozy winter vibes.

Not excited about my cycle, which started today, and I bled through my pad and my pants while teaching my kids school...I have not done that in 15 years. Glad I was home.

How are you all?