The new year hit like a bang. It's always something, right? We went to our church's new year party from 7-9 and that was a ton of fun! I didn't know how long we would make it with a one year old whose bedtime is 7:30pm, but Esther actually took a late nap that day and was fine. It was great to fellowship with friends and bring in the new year together, though we were the first to leave (well, another couple left before us but they were not going home, they were going to another party, so I don't think it counts lol).
I woke up to sick Esther. She had a fever and was covered in spots. When I say spots, I mean spots!
90 percent of her body looked like this or worse. I don't know if it was roseola or fifth's disease but baby girl was miserable for all of January 1st. She woke up normal on the second but still covered in spots. Her spots are finally clearing up today, January 4th, and she's back to her cute and energetic, though speckled self. On the 2nd around 3pm both my older kids suddenly came down with migraines. Reuben had a headache all day but it ramped up and nothing I was giving him was helping. He put himself to bed around 7 (super strange for my night owl son) and I was worried about him--he was not acting right and seemed very sick. Becky followed suit. I gave them meds for the flu and both of them slept through the night and woke up with only a cold on the 3rd. They are both fine now except Reuben has a sinus infection.
I, however, am exhausted. Esther isn't sleeping well the last few days (probably whatever she has) and with her and the sick on/off kids and you know, all the other millions of things I do--its just been a week even though it's only been four days of 2025.
God is good. Reuben and I have been reading through Samual in school and we are at the part where Saul becomes king and I've never been so introspective in my life. I mean everyone wants to be David who is the man after God's own heart but I think I am way more like Saul who does what he wants and ignores God's precepts and rules. I am always ready to justify my own sin just like does. I feel so sorry for Samual who tries to point Saul to what is right. I have been meditating on that verse where it says Samual stayed up all night crying to the Lord after he found out Saul did the sacrifices himself and did not obey God's commands. What parent hasn't felt like that at least once in their kids life? We want so much for our babies to love and honor christ and to become more like him and it's agonizing to see them struggle and fail. I think that is what Samual was going through. He loved Saul and really wanted to see Israel flourish under his rule and to see God glorified and all Saul does is lie and chase after his own fame. And poor Samuel didn't even get to see his own kids love the Lord. It's all just sad and so, so real.
I never thought I would relate to Saul. I hope I can really dedicate myself to the Lord and not half-half anything so important as that. My soul is worth more, my kids are worth more, and God is worthy.
Esther Rose is in full toddler meltdown mode today and I ran upstairs to write this and I'm listening to her cry and fuss a bit at daddy who is trying. Trying to do what, I do not know, because I am up and he is down but I can hear some of it. Sometimes it is hard to let him parent when I think I can do it better or I think he's doing it wrong but I am touched out!
I wish my husband could read my thoughts. It would make life so much easier because somehow translating my thoughts into words confuses him. Why can't he ever hear what I am saying? Why is communication so hard? I sure don't know. I definitely have high expectations which doesn't help.
Next November will be 13 years of marriage.
It's supposed to snow tomorrow!
Becky played the piano today and it was beautiful.
