My husband's been putting the Baby to Bed

The first week I just lay around and read books, looked at my phone, did chores I never get to (because toddler) and ate snacks. The second week I started crafting. I feel like myself again, for at least for two hours every evening! Yes, it usually takes an hour to get her to bed, then my husband will join me and chat or he will relax however he wants to. And he puts her to bed with no crying! We've transitioned her to sleep in a toddler bed right next to our bed--but she doesn't stay in it of course. She wakes up around 11 and climbs in bed with me but that's okay--its bliss to go to sleep by myself!

For bedtime, my husband reads books to her, pats her back, turns out the lights...sometimes he will look at videos on his phone with her. It's so great and I am so grateful. We didn't get Reuben out of our bed until he was over 3, and Becky was in bed with us too until 3-- and since she was born when Reuben was 2.5 (yeah we were bed sharing with two kids for awhile) that's SIX YEARS of co-sleeping. I am thunderstruck. I never counted it up like that. Plus Esther. I've been married 13 years and co-sleeping with kids for almost 8 of them. 

I did bedtime with Esther for the last 22 months (nursing to sleep, and we contact sleep so...holding her until I go to bed...) and this breather has been amazing. 

God is good and he's always giving me gifts. 

Esther turns two this may. What another milestone. She's growing up. 

It is weird to be almost 40 and go to the park with my kids and meet a 22 year old mom with a baby the same age as mine. Actually, if their mom had them at 20, I could be only a few years younger than their own mother! How mind boggling! But what a blessing to have a baby in my "old age." Hah! 

Getting a break and having peace in my home is so nice. 

How are you all? Oh, I also packed away my computer so I don't have access to pictures for these blog posts. Maybe I'll go back and add them later when I take it out again... 

Late Night Thoughts about Ruby Frank

Eight PM is late, isn't it? For this mom of three with one who still wakes 2-3 times a night, 8 is late. It's almost bedtime!

I was thinking recently about the Ruby Frank case--if you don't know about it, she was a full time family vlogger who was abusing her kids behind the scenes and now is in jail--and all the questions that have come from that. Many people are saying there can be no good in family vlogging and even one of Ruby's own daughters came out and said vlogging is abusive and wrong. I can't remember the exact quote I am sure you can Google it. 

So, as someone who used to vlog her kids--from birth to age 5 with Reuben, so Becky was 3--can there be good in family vlogging? Well, Ruby's daughter has only seen the toxic side of it with her mother, of course she is hesitant! But yes, there are good family vloggers. At least I think so! The biggest example of that is Chole and Beans who runs the channel Life With Beans. Her and her husband are full time vloggers (and now they run a online toy/kids clothing store as well) and their vlogs are wholesome, okay for kids to watch, and drama free. You will have to watch them to form your own opinion, but I find them a prime example of good parenting and ethical vlogging. 

Was I a good vlogger? I was kinda unhinged. I vlogged for myself because I loved making videos and was suddenly, with the birth of my first child, unable to make knitting and crochet videos (what I was doing before) and thought that vlogging would be a good creative outlet for me that I could accomplish with the added responsibilities of a growing family. And it was fun. Even if I wasn't good at it, it was still fun and my kids and I love to watch back many of those videos to this day! 

What would I change, if anything? I perhaps was too personal with my own life in it--but I am an extrovert that does not have many boundaries and I don't mind sharing. My kids were babies and toddlers. Why did I quit? It was two-fold. When Reuben got older, things just got awkward. Filming my life with littles was soul stretching for me and felt wholesome, but with older kids, who were getting shy--it felt invasive. Honestly, Reuben was starting to not like it, and his needs were changing and I needed to change to meet his needs. So I stopped. It simply wasn't the season for it, and now with homeschooling, a burgeoning chronic illness and adding a third (amazing) daughter to our family, I don't have the time to figure out if it's a feasible thing, much less think about the morality! 

What do you think? We as parents make so many choices for our kids--since they cannot make them on their own. They can't choose between homeschooling or public school, they can't choose what kind of car you drive or what type of diet you feed them, or even the color of the carpet. We moms and dads are tasked with the responsibility of caring and maintaining the atmosphere and emotional well-being of our kids. Thus, obviously, the choices we make will look different for each family, but that's the beauty of caring for our kids. They are ours and they need different things. So while vlogging may work for some, it might not for others--and that's okay. As long as we are keeping our kids safe and loving, honoring and respecting them as persons, I think a few videos can be a fun addition to the family memory vault.